Hello my dear friends, BM (Bowel Movement) Lady and Derek. It's been
quite a long time since we have all gotten together. Hopefully you
have been enjoying soft, pliable, and easily passed BMs (Bowel
Movements) since we have last spoken.
I have to tell you about a lost Brady Bunch episode that I happened to
stumble across last night. Right after I had a very enjoyable BM
(Bowel Movement), the spirit drove me to pull out my old BB tapes. Lo
and behold, I found an episode that hasn't been shown in at least 35
years. It was the episode called "Oh My Eye."
In this episode, the boys are playing football on the astro turf in
the backyard and Marcia comes out to tell the boys that it's time to
get their rear ends into the house and make their pre-dinner BMs
(Bowel Movements). As Marcia yells at the boys, Peter throws the
football and strikes Marcia in the face. Marcia doubles over in pain
and screams "oh my f---ing nose." When the boys see her doubled over
in pain they think that Marcia has severe gas pains (because she has
always had trouble passing BMs (Bowel Movements)). The boys then
scream for Alice and tell her to haul her fat, lazy, ass out of the
kitchen and into the backyard. Alice comes running and, as she gets
to Marcia, her running has caused one of her wrinkled, liver spot
covered, tube-like, breasts to pop out of her underwire support bra.
As a result, when she comes face to face with Marcia, one of the very
very coarse, hard, thick, and sharp hairs sticking out of Alice's
nipple strikes Marcia in the eye and scratches her cornea. This gives
Marcia a pink eye and totally screws up Marcia's date with Doug
Simpson, who is the head cheerleader and the President of the Westdale
High School's Gay Students Chorus. When Doug sees Marcia's very pink
eye, he screetches at the top of his falsetto voice that he would
simply not be seen with Marcia and her pink eye (because it clashed
with his purple shoes). Marcia then goes out on a date with Cholo,
who is a Mexican gang-banger at Westdale High. While eating at the
taco stand, Cholo and Marcia see Doug Simpson with his date, a young
boy from Filmore Jr. High. Cholo goes up to Doug and he (together
with a few of his homies) beats the crap out of Doug. After Cholo
drops Marcia off at home and speeds away in his low-rider Chevy in a
huge cloud of exhaust, Marcia complains to Mike and Carol that she has
severe gas and intestinal bloating from the taco stand. Marcia then
proceeds to rip off several loud, greasy and blazing hot anal blasts.
As Marcia rips off the last one, Alice (after hearing the commotion)
comes running in and pokes Marcia in the other eye with one of her
nipple hairs. Marcia then drops to the floor and expels a huge,
steamy, and viscous BM (Bowel Movement) right on the carpet. Carol
then screams at Alice to go and get the f---ing Resolve and clean the
carpet. The last scene shows Alice on her hands and knees scrubbing
the carpet, but not with a towel or a sponge. Instead, Alice is
scrubbing it with her brillo pad-like pubic hairs!!! The entire
family (including Tiger) stand and watch Alice and laugh like hyenas.
Alice looks up and says "looks like the taco stand threw in lots of
corn in the tacos that Marcia ordered." The music starts and the
scene fades. What a heart-warming episode!!!!
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