> I can't remember if this episode was shown or if it was merely
> discussed by Sherwood Schwartz in his autobiography.
>
> The Bradys are visited by Alice's Cousin Emma, Great Grandma Hutchins,
> a fight starts because each of them claims to have the thickest nipple
> these witches then pulls off her top and bra and exposes her tube-
> like, elongated, wrinkled, baloney tits and plucks out several hairs
> decide which old bat does, indeed, have the thickest gray nipple
> episode ends with everyone squatting on the floor, releasing a bloated
> BM (bowel movement) and flinging it at someone else (similar to what
> occurs in a Three Stooges pie-throwing episode).
>
> Anyone else remember this episode or am I imagining it?
My dear dear new friend that I feel I've known for a long time,
Kings...
I can not believe this! You are never going to believe this! Out of
all of the thousands upon thousands of lost eipsodes that Saggie had
on DVD and video take, this is the very one that I happened to pick
out at random and watch last night. Wow - what do you think the odds
of that happening are?
I am afraid you may, this time, have been watching the syndicated
version of the Brady Bunch, and not the Network version. How sad and
tragic this event is, Kings. There was more that you left out. I am
confident you would never withhold a detail of a lost Brady Bunch
episode - especially when it comes to information about BM's (bowel
movements).
Mike came out of his office. He was so mad! The fight made him lose
concentration over the gay (homosexual) bath house he was designing as
a summer home for Mr. Phillips. He came out and kidney punched Alice,
telling her it was all her fault. She dropped to the ground
screaming, and he kicked her in the head so hard that blood came out
of her ears. She kept saying "I'm sorry, Mr. B"..."I'm Sorry." The
kids and old women all laughed.
Thindy said "Thiss Sthill Doesth't Thell Tho Thas The Thickest Nittle
Hair." Mike could make out some of the words to mean that Cindy still
was in question about who had the thickest nipple hair. Mike said
there was only one way to solve this, and that was with a good old BM
(bowel movement) cutting contest. The kids cheered.
Mike asked the children if any of them had a firm BM (bowel movement)
still left. Jan spoke up, and said she could make one. She had been
saving it for later, but make one for the family if they needed her
to. She lifted up her dress, pulled her panties down, bent over and
began to extrude the most beautiful, firm and round BM (bowel
movement) the Brady's had ever seen. The family ooowed and awwed over
it. As the BM (Bowel Movement) Lady, the world's leading authority of
BM's (bowel movements), I have to say this was a perfect 10 on a 1 to
10 scale of BM's (bowel movement) - 10 being the best. It is so
refreshing to see this beautiful of a BM (bowel movement) on
television, especially in non-high definition. As Jan finished
making the BM (bowel movement), Greg was there with oven mitts waiting
to catch it. As with true Brady humor, Jan released a giant fart
right into Greg's face. His expression was classic! The laugh track
rolled as the family howeled.
Mike said - "OK, back to business!" and ripped the shirts and dresses
off of Alice's Cousin Emma, Great Grandma Hutchins, Aunt Jenny, and
Alice. He started with Cousin Emma, and yanked the longest nipple
hair off her left tittie. The BM (bowel movement) was placed on the
dining room table, and Mike tied the hair around it, just like a
tournaquet around Jon Benet Ramsey's neck. He pulled, and the hair
snapped in two. Cousin Emma said "Fuck!" Now, it was Great Grandma's
Hutchins turn. Same thing. Carol when over to her Grandma and kicked
her for embarassing her like that. Aunt Jenny was next. The results
were better. Mike got halfway through the BM (bowel movement) when
all of the sudden the hair broke off. Jenny went into the next room.
You couldn't see it, but you heard a gun go off, and saw blood
smatterings coming into the dining room, hitting Marcia in the face.
Finally, it was Alice's turn. Not only did Mike cut the BM (bowel
movement) in two with Alice's long and thick nipple hair, but he cut
each child and adult a sizeable slice of Jan's BM (bowel movement).
"Let me get some salsa to dip that in." said Alice. She gloated the
rest of the day, as the famly dipped Jan's BM (bowel movement) into
the salsa. Mike told Alice he was sorry for kicking her, and she said
"That's OK, Mr. B - I deserved it!"
Kings- did Saggie ever share her expression of love with you? She
always told it to me each and every day, and now may I share it with
you? She said "May your BM's (bowel movements) be firm but not
hard." We never parted or talked on the phone without her saying
that.
Kings - you are a wonderful man and becoming such a dear friend. Both
you and Derek. Let's not wait too long until we all play 3 spoons in
the spoon drawer.
Love you dear!
The BM (Bowel Movement) Lady - the world's leading authority on BM's
(bowel movements).
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