| Royal Flush |
Posted via Supernews, ht .. |
| Derek Homsberg (dhomsb32@wbc.com) |
2007/10/28 13:10 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "Derek Homsberg" <dhomsb32@wbc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.brady-bunch
Subject: Royal Flush
Date: Sun, 28 Oct 2007 12:10:45 -0700
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I was just wondering about something. Did this ever happen in a Brady
episode?
Anyway the first time I hit the can and took a leak I realized it was
one of those low flush toilets, the water and piss just slowly drained
out. Also I had been eating nothing but Halloween candy all week and
that was probably why I was getting pretty constipated. I don't think
I went since Tuesday. Saturday I had some booze and some real food
which finally triggered some action and I felt some familiar twinges
in my colon right at the party.
I hit the bathroom and take just about the biggest shit of my life. I
felt like I was giving birth. When I flush the water just sorta goes
around the turd and it sinks a little totally clogging the hole. I try
flushing again and the bowl fills almost to the top with water. I have
no idea what to do now. I was in a panic, my heartbeat started going
up. I tried flushing one more time and now water is spilling out all
over the floor. Now I am in a total rage.
But also I feel that I am not quite done yet. With the toilet out of
order, I say fuck it and sit on the sink and squeeze one more out
there. I try to calm down, I know someone might have to use the room
soon. And I am very angry over having been put in this kind of
situation. I pick up the turd out of the sink with some toilet paper.
I look for the wastebasket, then say fuck it and throw it into mirror.
Then I flush the toilet one more time, open the door and peek out to
make sure the coast is clear.
I rejoin the party for a few minutes. I hear a shrill scream coming
from the direction of the restroom. A few people run toward there to
see what's going on. The guy I was talking to said "It sounds like
someone got lucky." I excuse myself and slip off into the night.
I didn't really have a good time, very bad form hosting a party with
sub-par facilities. Those people weren't my friends anyway. Doesn't
anyone else here hate those low flush toilets?
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