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From: "Derek Homsberg" <dhomsb32@wbc.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.brady-bunch
References: <1170048704.929487.119380@v33g2000cwv.googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: Lost Episode - The Birth of Jan
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Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:50:48 GMT
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My sweet Saggie:
That was one of the best episodes ever! But even better is your description
of it. The passion that you show for writing about the Bradys and BMs
(Bowel Movements) is truly amazing. You and Kings are the BoMb. Get it?
B-M-
Love,
Derek
>I was just wondering about something. Did any of you happen to catch
> last night's lost episode about the birth of Jan? I think it is so
> ironic. We were just talking the other day, wondering if Carol had a
> BM (bowel movement) or released some BM's (bowel movements) during
> childbirth, and here is a lost episode about this very topic! How
> ironic is that!
>
> Well, Carol was sitting around the kitchen table talking about lesbian
> sex with Alice when Jan walked in. Jan complained about how
> constipated she was, and how much BM (bowel movement) was up her
> rectum. Carol said "Oh Jan, you want to talk about being
> constipated!" Carol said. "I couldn't have a BM (bowel movement) for
> months when I was pregnant with you!"
>
> Carol when on to say how she loved eating at Jose's Mexican
> Restaurant, and was especially attracted to the place during her
> pregnancies. Now Jose's did not have a buffet, but they did offer an
> all-you-can-eat combo platter, and would bring you refills of all your
> favorites. Carol would eat a gallon of refried beans every time she
> went there. Carol continued, and flashed back to how her sphincter
> muscle locked so tight during the pregnancy, she could no longer have
> a BM (bowel movement). Of course, this didn't stop her from eating.
>
> When it came time to deliver Jan, she was so loaded. Her rectum was
> swelling with BM (bowel movements), and it was now very painful.
> Carol was in labor with Jan for over 500 hours, but resisted having a
> C-Section,. She had read an article that mentioned some women have a
> BM (bowel movement) during delivery, and since the only way for this
> to happen was through a standard cooter delivery.
>
> After 500 hours, the final push happened. She pushed as hard as she
> could, and simultaneously with Jan being forced through Carol's small
> birth canal. Jan was long - about 29 inches. Oddly, the same time
> Carol delivered a 29 inch long BM (bowel movement) that came out
> exactly together with Jan. The nurse yelled "look, it's twins!" but
> then noticed the BM (bowel movement) was not breathing. The nurse
> tried to give it mouth to mouth, but then realized this was just a BM
> (bowel movement).
>
> Unfortunately, Carol said, the BM (bowel movement) had a very sharp
> point on the end of it due to the sphincter was so tight. The doctor
> lost an eye from being poked with it.
>
> This was a riot - All of the girls laughed and had a good time. Jan
> said she had decided the way to relive her constipation was to get
> pregnant. Alice sniped "Yea, if you could get some guy to have sex
> with you!" Laugh track.
>
> A riot!
>
> Love all of you so very much. Kings and Derek, you make my day. I
> live to love both of you!
>
> My best always,
>
> Love,
>
> Saggie
>
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