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From: "saggie diapers" <saggiediaperz@aol.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.brady-bunch
Subject: Lost Episode - The Birth of Jan
Date: 28 Jan 2007 21:31:44 -0800
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I was just wondering about something. Did any of you happen to catch
last night's lost episode about the birth of Jan? I think it is so
ironic. We were just talking the other day, wondering if Carol had a
BM (bowel movement) or released some BM's (bowel movements) during
childbirth, and here is a lost episode about this very topic! How
ironic is that!
Well, Carol was sitting around the kitchen table talking about lesbian
sex with Alice when Jan walked in. Jan complained about how
constipated she was, and how much BM (bowel movement) was up her
rectum. Carol said "Oh Jan, you want to talk about being
constipated!" Carol said. "I couldn't have a BM (bowel movement) for
months when I was pregnant with you!"
Carol when on to say how she loved eating at Jose's Mexican
Restaurant, and was especially attracted to the place during her
pregnancies. Now Jose's did not have a buffet, but they did offer an
all-you-can-eat combo platter, and would bring you refills of all your
favorites. Carol would eat a gallon of refried beans every time she
went there. Carol continued, and flashed back to how her sphincter
muscle locked so tight during the pregnancy, she could no longer have
a BM (bowel movement). Of course, this didn't stop her from eating.
When it came time to deliver Jan, she was so loaded. Her rectum was
swelling with BM (bowel movements), and it was now very painful.
Carol was in labor with Jan for over 500 hours, but resisted having a
C-Section,. She had read an article that mentioned some women have a
BM (bowel movement) during delivery, and since the only way for this
to happen was through a standard cooter delivery.
After 500 hours, the final push happened. She pushed as hard as she
could, and simultaneously with Jan being forced through Carol's small
birth canal. Jan was long - about 29 inches. Oddly, the same time
Carol delivered a 29 inch long BM (bowel movement) that came out
exactly together with Jan. The nurse yelled "look, it's twins!" but
then noticed the BM (bowel movement) was not breathing. The nurse
tried to give it mouth to mouth, but then realized this was just a BM
(bowel movement).
Unfortunately, Carol said, the BM (bowel movement) had a very sharp
point on the end of it due to the sphincter was so tight. The doctor
lost an eye from being poked with it.
This was a riot - All of the girls laughed and had a good time. Jan
said she had decided the way to relive her constipation was to get
pregnant. Alice sniped "Yea, if you could get some guy to have sex
with you!" Laugh track.
A riot!
Love all of you so very much. Kings and Derek, you make my day. I
live to love both of you!
My best always,
Love,
Saggie
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