In article <1128315536.893614.220210@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>, saggie
diapers says...
>
>I was just wondering about something. How often did the Brady children
>have to stay home from school as a result of sore rectums?
>Furthermore, did Carol or Mike keep statistics as to the reasons why
>the rectums were sore? The reasons could be almost endless, and
>related to BM (bowel movement) and rectal problems like 1) diarrhea as
>a direct result of Alice's food, 2) too many BM's (bowel movements)
>causing irritation to the lining of the rectum because of the quantity
>or quality of the food consumed, 3) intestinal cramping as a direct
>result of Alice's food, 4) too firm of BM (bowel movement) when Alice
>would use too much fiber in the food, or 5) molesting the rectum with
>fingers, sticks or other objects - such as Mike sticking his you know
>what into the boys's rectums.
>
>I think it is VERY safe to assume there was probably always at least
>one child at home nursing a sore rectum back to health. Does anyone
>have an idea how long rectal soreness would have lasted? How many
>Brady school days were lost to these problems?
>
>I wonder if a absence note written by Carol for Greg would have gone
>something like this...
>
>Please excuse Greg's absence from school yesterday. He was at home
>suffering from a sore rectum - a condition we Brady's often
>experience. Greg's rectum was very sore because 1) Greg had consumed
>a very large portion of Alice's fiber-filled meatloaf, causing his
>BM's (bowel movements) to become extremely firm. These firm BM's
>(bowel movements) very much hurt Greg's rectum as he extruded his
>large and firm BM's (bowel movements).
>
>My husband Mike had also been playing a riveted game of "fudge
>factory," and had been helping Greg "pack the fudge." This also
>contributed to Greg having a sore rectum.
>
>Thanks, and I appreciate your understanding.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Carol Brady
>
>What do you think?
>
..Actually, it was Carol who would tickle the boys rectum. She would massage
that button hole until it hurt. Remember she was the one who came up with "the
draft aft"!.Carol enjoyed playing Dr. Carol.And the boys enjoyed being her
patients.They wanted to reverse roles, but Carol played hard to get.
>We may need to ask the BM (bowel movement) lady on this one. She is
>lost somewhere in the hurricane ravaged country helping people reunite
>with their BM's (bowel movements). May hear from her this week.
>
>Love you all much!
>
>Saggie
>
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