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From: JBENWAY@NYC.RR.COM
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: Need group's opinion on very short story I wrote
Date: 11 Jul 2003 15:42:10 -0700
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Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F052C48.B19EE4B8@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> Troy wrote:
> >
> > Bobby woke up--sweaty, hungry, sore and wondering where he was. He looked up
> > and saw the expressive eyes of the guy who played Cody on 'Step By Step'
> > staring down into his. As Bobby opened his lips to speak, the guy who played
> > Cody placed his finger upon them as if to gently silence him. The guy who
> > played Cody then tenderly stroked his cheek and ran his long fingers through
> > Bobby's hair. Bobby cooed and purred with pleasure, lolling his head about in
> > response to the guy who played Cody's expert touch. He closed his eyes and
> > imagined it was the guy inside the Alf-suit who played Alf that was caressing
> > him and he involuntarily blurted out "Oh, the guy inside the Alf-suit, you're
> > my Daddy. Dial 1-800-Call-ATT on my nether regions with your powerful digits,
> > baby". The guy who played Cody was crushed; am I not attractive enough for
> > Bobby that he has to fantasize about the guy inside the Alf suit, he thought?
> > And why did the author feel the need to erroneously hyphenate 'Alf-suit' early
> > in this paragraph? And why has the author not started another paragraph? Why
> > has he trapped me in this paragraph with excessive and unrelated information?
> > Basic grammatical standards call for the establishment of a new paragraph when
> > a different character's point of view is being represented. Can you hear me
> > asshole author?! Start a new fucking paragraph! The guy who played Cody on
> > 'Step By Step' continued his raving as Bobby, oblivious to the one paragraph
> > characteristic of his story, thought lovingly about the guy inside the Alf-suit
> > and drifted off to sleep in rapturous delight.
>
> It's quite amusing stuff Troy... the the 'guy who played -' kind of
> grated on me after a very short while
http://www.uchicago.edu/uchi/campus_services/police.html
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