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From: elag <elag@cloud9.net>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: 14 July 1789
Date: Sun, 05 Oct 2003 00:17:26 -0400
Organization: de mortuis nil nisi bonum
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Paul Heslop wrote:
>
> elag wrote:
>
> > Paul Heslop wrote:
> > >
> > > elag wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Paul Heslop wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > elag wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > Looked at a certain way that could be almost as funny.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It reminds me of a time when I was sitting w/ some college pals in a
> > > > > > fast food joint called "Wally Wooten's Rootin' Tootin' Fine Food" which
> > > > > > had as its mascot a Yosemite Sam rip off. Unespectedly, the clerk
> > > > > > called us over saying that we had a phone call. On the line were a
> > > > > > bunch of giggly girls who said they wanted us to come on over and be
> > > > > > sure to bring plenty of mayonnaise, friction tape and wire coat hangers.
> > > > > > As you might expect, the meeting never came off, but it did make for an
> > > > > > amusing evening.
> > > > >
> > > > > :O)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > and another guy, Mike Harding (bluff Northerner) of when he was on tour
> > > > > > > in the states and stayed at someone's house. He didn't like sitting
> > > > > > > round doing nothing so he asked them if he could lay the table for
> > > > > > > dinner. Only after the bemused looks did he find out that 'lay' meant
> > > > > > > something else than putting out the cutlery etc :O)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Boy, those guys sure are harsh when it comes to enforcing their rules of
> > > > > > idiomatic expression. We're far looser hereabouts.
> > > > >
> > > > > They were both products of a byegone age, common men who had to look
> > > > > often for the lowest point of humour, though both could really make you
> > > > > laugh if they tried.
> > > >
> > > > here's a bit of ancient ethnic humor that relates somewhat to this topic:
> > > >
> > > > The Italian man who went to Malta.
> > > >
> > > > One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel,in the morning I go down to eat
> > > > a breakfast.
> > > > I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast .She brings me only
> > > > one piece.
> > > > I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She say "Go to the toilet".
> > > > I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate".
> > > > She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch".
> > > > I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!
> > > >
> > > > Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings me a Spoon
> > > > and a knief but no fock.
> > > > I tell her "I wanna a fock" and she tella me : "everyone wanna fuck".
> > > > I tella her " you don't undertsand me...I wanna fock on the table".
> > > > She say : "you better not fuck on the table you sonnawabitch."
> > > >
> > > > So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
> > > > I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet". he tell me to Go the toilet.
> > > > I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed".
> > > > He say:"you better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch".
> > > >
> > > > I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said " peace on you".
> > > > and I say : " Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth".
> > > >
> > > > I gonna back to Italy!
> > >
> > > :O) We have a guy who does all this in an arab way, for about half his
> > > act, and he really looks the part, but then he suddenly breaks into
> > > perfect drops the gags about terrorists etc and uses his perfect English
> > > accent to prove how prejudiced people can be. Problem is once you've
> > > seen him you've seen the gag, but he keeps doing it.
> >
> > What's his name? I might try to look up his story.
>
> I didn't think I could recall his name, it's on screen for such a short time, but a
> little digging around and I find
> OMID DJALILI
> He is in some movies and stuff too, in fact I think he jokes about the fact that he is
> guaranteed work simply because of his looks.
Thanks, his act sounds pretty interesting. Another amusing fact is that
he's not even an arab, he's Persian (Iranian). He's on a sitcom in the
US right now, but I've never seen it.
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