Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: elag <elag@cloud9.net>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: 14 July 1789
Date: Wed, 01 Oct 2003 22:25:02 -0400
Organization: de mortuis nil nisi bonum
Message-ID: <3F7B8C7C.64ED7352@cloud9.net>
Reply-To: elag@cloud9.net
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.78 (Macintosh; U; PPC)
X-Accept-Language: en
MIME-Version: 1.0
References: <3F124E55.A4BA3D3B@cloud9.net> <3F443E2F.9A15EBEF@cloud9.net> <3F449A63.7BDA4484@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F45C934.2D552C1C@cloud9.net> <3F45F63A.344EA4BE@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F46F1E9.1715A5BA@cloud9.net> <3F473A20.5BCC9E6A@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F4C3859.A9281D81@cloud9.net> <3F4C7F72.848F372E@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F556B54.56D21633@cloud9.net> <3F569457.876E73DC@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F5804B5.A3EC1A22@cloud9.net> <3F585EFB.68532E9D@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F5BD759.18DD0F1B@cloud9.net> <3F5BD902.3AAE2367@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F5E9A87.9369F17C@cloud9.net> <3F5EEB89.B1D19EE7@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F63D38A.3A5B8C13@cloud9.net> <3F63DBC5.A69990F3@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F652ECF.C1211919@cloud9.net> <3F6574CE.C332B4E@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F6A83BC.448590B6@cloud9.net> <3F6B6B0E.555D9A30@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F7257F9.BADFBE71@cloud9.net> <3F72A1B8.228C666D@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F737BA9.7F4B28C1@cloud9.net> <3F739C1D.97F3FAB2@blueyonder.co.uk> <3F76127C.BC1F4CA0@cloud9.net> <3F761817.5D364F4E@blueyonder.co.uk>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Complaints-To: abuse@supernews.com
Lines: 75
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.surrealism:627
Paul Heslop wrote:
>
> elag wrote:
> >
> > Paul Heslop wrote:
> > >
> > > elag wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> > > > Looked at a certain way that could be almost as funny.
> > > >
> > > > It reminds me of a time when I was sitting w/ some college pals in a
> > > > fast food joint called "Wally Wooten's Rootin' Tootin' Fine Food" which
> > > > had as its mascot a Yosemite Sam rip off. Unespectedly, the clerk
> > > > called us over saying that we had a phone call. On the line were a
> > > > bunch of giggly girls who said they wanted us to come on over and be
> > > > sure to bring plenty of mayonnaise, friction tape and wire coat hangers.
> > > > As you might expect, the meeting never came off, but it did make for an
> > > > amusing evening.
> > >
> > > :O)
> > > >
> > > > > and another guy, Mike Harding (bluff Northerner) of when he was on tour
> > > > > in the states and stayed at someone's house. He didn't like sitting
> > > > > round doing nothing so he asked them if he could lay the table for
> > > > > dinner. Only after the bemused looks did he find out that 'lay' meant
> > > > > something else than putting out the cutlery etc :O)
> > > >
> > > > Boy, those guys sure are harsh when it comes to enforcing their rules of
> > > > idiomatic expression. We're far looser hereabouts.
> > >
> > > They were both products of a byegone age, common men who had to look
> > > often for the lowest point of humour, though both could really make you
> > > laugh if they tried.
> >
> > here's a bit of ancient ethnic humor that relates somewhat to this topic:
> >
> > The Italian man who went to Malta.
> >
> > One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel,in the morning I go down to eat
> > a breakfast.
> > I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast .She brings me only
> > one piece.
> > I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She say "Go to the toilet".
> > I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate".
> > She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch".
> > I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!
> >
> > Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings me a Spoon
> > and a knief but no fock.
> > I tell her "I wanna a fock" and she tella me : "everyone wanna fuck".
> > I tella her " you don't undertsand me...I wanna fock on the table".
> > She say : "you better not fuck on the table you sonnawabitch."
> >
> > So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
> > I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet". he tell me to Go the toilet.
> > I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed".
> > He say:"you better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch".
> >
> > I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said " peace on you".
> > and I say : " Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth".
> >
> > I gonna back to Italy!
>
> :O) We have a guy who does all this in an arab way, for about half his
> act, and he really looks the part, but then he suddenly breaks into
> perfect drops the gags about terrorists etc and uses his perfect English
> accent to prove how prejudiced people can be. Problem is once you've
> seen him you've seen the gag, but he keeps doing it.
What's his name? I might try to look up his story.
|
| Follow-ups: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 |
| 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |
| 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | 109 | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 |
| 120 | 121 | 122 | 123 | 124 | 125 | 126 | 127 |
|