Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: mdubuque@yahoo.com (Matthew)
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: where are my toes?
Date: 18 Aug 2003 15:52:57 -0700
Organization: http://groups.google.com/
Lines: 159
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Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F3D6544.7D48773@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> Matthew wrote:
> >
> > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F3C1B14.2E2A399A@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > Matthew wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F39A5D3.F76E7E1B@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F3822FB.4D647056@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F35ABF1.E4DBD76@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F34AFB2.AB7FFB83@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F342574.2D60AF4E@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F32DE10.FE37C186@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MhlYa.167854$xg5.149350@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Matthew" <mdubuque@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > news:3aea8d23.0308061833.c909867@posting.google.com...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:<KtdYa.165044$xg5.146187@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Matthew" <mdubuque@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > news:3aea8d23.0308061108.3fc84d25@posting.google.com...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:<aq2Ya.145601$XV.7696470@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Just to top the previous news story off:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_791522.html?menu=news.quirkies
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > \
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here is the story:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Man eats own toes
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > An Austrian man cut off his toes, fried them up and ate them between
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > two slices of bread after getting high sniffing butane gas.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > When ambulance men arrived he offered to share his meal with them,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > passing over a toe and saying: "It tastes like chicken, do you want
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > some, there's a few still left over."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Police said the 35-year-old suddenly became very hungry after sniffing
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the gas and had searched all his kitchen cupboards, but found nothing
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to eat.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Grabbing a kitchen knife he cut off his toes on his left foot and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dropped them in the frying pan.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The man's sister called the police when she walked into the kitchen
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and saw him making the toe sandwich.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > By the time ambulance men arrived there was little of the hacked-off
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > toes left and a spokesman said: "What there was, was too badly burned
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to re-attach."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A police spokesman added: "He told the ambulance men that he had more
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > toes than he needed and didn't think he would notice if he got rid of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a few."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He was taken to a hospital in Steyr where he is recovering from his
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > injuries.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Story filed: 08:54 Wednesday 18th June 2003
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He said he only had a "few" left. Doesn't the reporter think we want
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to know how many he ate and how many were left over?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Did he eat 7 or 8? Was the big one tough and chewy? Enquiring minds
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > want to no.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Have you ever had fried ape toes? Much the same thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Nope, I'd probably check out the baked ones though. I know Starbuck's
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > is selling them now.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, they are; along with dirty yuppies socks and a fine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > silicone brisket. I assume McDonalds will be adding the 9 piece
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > toe dish soon if my sources are correct.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hope so. Are they uniformed sauces?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Wunbell
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No, they're uninformed saucers
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Mirror fashion plates, with no backbone? It's so hard to be a cup
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > nowaday. Who took my plate?
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > It was possibly the Chinese, who are annoyed that small pieces of china
> > > > > > > > > > > > > are being used by we in the west to eat our meals from.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Wow. Incredible. This is fine, Art! We have com pass a point where
> > > > > > > > > > > > some in the South would ten to agree; surely the west wonders why play
> > > > > > > > > > > > to eat on a dish more grand than necessary? Wood addishonal size be a
> > > > > > > > > > > > must in all areas of grey wall china?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Bunwell
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Ah, another misconception. Great Wall of China is a person. Wall Li. He
> > > > > > > > > > > is so big you can see him from his friend Ou Tasppai's house.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Hmmm, geee, see HQ about the power outage?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Is the great Wall Li known to be Long Tu? It seems that any nation
> > > > > > > > > > without despised would also have two small plates.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Yes, and also known as Kwy Thai. But beware friends who rub two small
> > > > > > > > > plates together, create tiny earthquake!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Oh, si, a seismic cymbal! Plates near great lift valley make gazelle run fast.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Small deer plates costing twice as much as others due to their being an
> > > > > > > endangered species.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Excellent. Superior form! A classic. Reminds me of the round jeep,
> > > > > > late, (gave me the Willys!) which was so cheap because we tired of
> > > > > > them being round everywhere.
> > > > >
> > > > > A cheap jeap? There is no such thing. The only cheap jeep I ever saw was
> > > > > made by matchbox
> > > >
> > > > An obvious missed spelling; it should have been "cheep jeep",
> > > > referring to its unlubricated condition and plates grinding upon
> > > > plates, bearings upon bearings and hamsters in the engine.
> > >
> > > The old Willys was never poplar over here, as trees do the job so much
> > > better. We have a thing called Land Rover, which is Jeep but chunkier.
> >
> > I'm stumped. If trees were so poplar, where is the Black Forest?
>
> In a cake. We have the New Forest, which is actually very old.
>
> Now
> > across the pond they worship humvees for hungry Americans and SUVs for
> > faster suhvice. One thing for sure, these tires are jeep no more;
> > they cost a pretty penny and a bit more. It's a good year for B.F.
> > Goodrich.
>
> Ah, they like 4wds here but only for the ladies to take the kids to
> school. They call smaller 4wds 'hairdresser's cars' as that's who drives
> them, and also smaller sports cars.
Hear, they are four soccer moms as well. But you know, yesterday life
was such an easy game to play and I was thinking that one reason we
have so may SUVs dominating our Rhodes is our obese nation can
scarcely fit inside anything else you know. It all comes back to
cheep food on very big plates.
Bunwell
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