Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: mdubuque@yahoo.com (Matthew)
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: where are my toes?
Date: 14 Aug 2003 16:19:57 -0700
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Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F39A5D3.F76E7E1B@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> Matthew wrote:
> >
> > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F3822FB.4D647056@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > Matthew wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F35ABF1.E4DBD76@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F34AFB2.AB7FFB83@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F342574.2D60AF4E@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Paul Heslop <paul.heslop@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message news:<3F32DE10.FE37C186@blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > > > > > > > > > Matthew wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MhlYa.167854$xg5.149350@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > "Matthew" <mdubuque@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > > > > > > news:3aea8d23.0308061833.c909867@posting.google.com...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:<KtdYa.165044$xg5.146187@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Matthew" <mdubuque@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > news:3aea8d23.0308061108.3fc84d25@posting.google.com...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "john adams" <johnqadamsiii@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:<aq2Ya.145601$XV.7696470@twister.austin.rr.com>...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Just to top the previous news story off:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_791522.html?menu=news.quirkies
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > \
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here is the story:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Man eats own toes
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > An Austrian man cut off his toes, fried them up and ate them between
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > two slices of bread after getting high sniffing butane gas.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > When ambulance men arrived he offered to share his meal with them,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > passing over a toe and saying: "It tastes like chicken, do you want
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > some, there's a few still left over."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Police said the 35-year-old suddenly became very hungry after sniffing
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the gas and had searched all his kitchen cupboards, but found nothing
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to eat.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Grabbing a kitchen knife he cut off his toes on his left foot and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dropped them in the frying pan.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The man's sister called the police when she walked into the kitchen
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and saw him making the toe sandwich.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > By the time ambulance men arrived there was little of the hacked-off
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > toes left and a spokesman said: "What there was, was too badly burned
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to re-attach."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A police spokesman added: "He told the ambulance men that he had more
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > toes than he needed and didn't think he would notice if he got rid of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a few."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He was taken to a hospital in Steyr where he is recovering from his
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > injuries.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Story filed: 08:54 Wednesday 18th June 2003
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He said he only had a "few" left. Doesn't the reporter think we want
>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to know how many he ate and how many were left over?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Did he eat 7 or 8? Was the big one tough and chewy? Enquiring minds
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > want to no.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Have you ever had fried ape toes? Much the same thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Nope, I'd probably check out the baked ones though. I know Starbuck's
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > is selling them now.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Yes, they are; along with dirty yuppies socks and a fine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > silicone brisket. I assume McDonalds will be adding the 9 piece
> > > > > > > > > > > > > toe dish soon if my sources are correct.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I hope so. Are they uniformed sauces?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Wunbell
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > No, they're uninformed saucers
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Mirror fashion plates, with no backbone? It's so hard to be a cup
> > > > > > > > > > nowaday. Who took my plate?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > It was possibly the Chinese, who are annoyed that small pieces of china
> > > > > > > > > are being used by we in the west to eat our meals from.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Wow. Incredible. This is fine, Art! We have com pass a point where
> > > > > > > > some in the South would ten to agree; surely the west wonders why play
> > > > > > > > to eat on a dish more grand than necessary? Wood addishonal size be a
> > > > > > > > must in all areas of grey wall china?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Bunwell
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Ah, another misconception. Great Wall of China is a person. Wall Li. He
> > > > > > > is so big you can see him from his friend Ou Tasppai's house.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hmmm, geee, see HQ about the power outage?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is the great Wall Li known to be Long Tu? It seems that any nation
> > > > > > without despised would also have two small plates.
> > > > >
> > > > > Yes, and also known as Kwy Thai. But beware friends who rub two small
> > > > > plates together, create tiny earthquake!
> > > >
> > > > Oh, si, a seismic cymbal! Plates near great lift valley make gazelle run fast.
> > >
> > > Small deer plates costing twice as much as others due to their being an
> > > endangered species.
> >
> > Excellent. Superior form! A classic. Reminds me of the round jeep,
> > late, (gave me the Willys!) which was so cheap because we tired of
> > them being round everywhere.
>
> A cheap jeap? There is no such thing. The only cheap jeep I ever saw was
> made by matchbox
An obvious missed spelling; it should have been "cheep jeep",
referring to its unlubricated condition and plates grinding upon
plates, bearings upon bearings and hamsters in the engine.
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