| Poems: 230719 - July 23rd, 2019 |
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| Robert Morpheal (morpheal@yahoo.com) |
2019/07/23 22:05 |
220719A
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Easy to lose
at nothing to win
running through lists
of quick picks
boring lives
patterned
stick to it
pretend surprised
by the rejections
and the indifference
knowing should have
gotten out of it
before snapped shut
mouse trap breaks
fragile mind
down to routine
open and close
cases of indecision
and way to go
to get somewhere
pried loose
from hanging on
fingertips stained
with no one
actually wants any
touched instant
pudding head
thoroughly beaten
into mixed up
false hope mess
a deep dive
failed recovery
of no body
dredged out
from hit bottom.
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220719B
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Broken
on a modern wheel
roundabout
of make it go
standing
on the spot
faster and faster
squirm of snaked
at void's edge
stare into space
and fidget pastimes
pretending
always busied
looking
for something.
Takes it out
as absence
spun up
against the sides
of a vertigo condition
staggered
projectile vomit
numeric overflow
into little boxes
trying to add up
to something
beyond scorn
from a pretty face
breaking off
conversation.
An ugly moment
of failing
to be convincing
and not looking
the part
in the test results
crossed over
boredom thresholds
indicators
of discard
lacking attention
and retention
past quality hold points
of doesn't really
love it enough.
Not passing
as six of one
half a dozen
of another
misfit sort of toy
played out
on a short string
jerk around
yo-yo
excommunication
hacked off piece
of street meat
kept dangling
on a meat hook
in someone's freezer.
Hands fallen
from the clock
losing sense
of in touch
past edges
of cuts
along slashed margins
written in
and rubbed out
to nothing doing
loaded up
with promise
turned burst
balloon pin prick
of depreciation.
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220719C
------------
Don't have any
of what you want
and they left me out
from both ways
looking in
to going around
either way
as to the same circles.
A little of this
and a little of that
but not anything
of how much you want
what you always want
so very much of
when you pull another name
from another hat.
Baseless rumours
of our meetings
could fill the tabloids
with jealousy
wildly speculating
who qualified
who was disqualified
and who really had you.
I have been had
but never in any real way
that I would want to be
kept as a keepsake
or treasured in collection
as a specimen
representing any crowd
of real chances.
Quick sideways glance
making me realize
the total failure
to fit into anything
including profiles
of any suspects
having possibilities
at being wanted.
At this point in life
there is no actual cure
for any conditions
routinely imposed
including actuarial decisions
against dealing
with the youth markets
of buy and sell love.
Hollywood enforcement
of how to look
what to do
and how to feel
results in sentences
of solitary confinement
denied parole
from stereotypes.
They work so hard
for conformity
to instructions
given latest revision
current manual
defining parts
that go together
in what ways.
Finding nothing
in the catalogues
is an instant replay
nothing to sell
or offer in trade
that anyone is ordered
to have to want
from official markets.
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220719D
------------
Stray pieces
of broken concentration
remaining wherever
thrown
onto the floor
leaving nothing
swept up
from underfoot
moments of truth.
Walking gingerly
fearing shards
beneath barefoot
close examinations
the difficult terrain
slides past
a splash of coffee
avoiding further jolts
of news.
Book splayed open
spreading desire
down a tingle
of spine
want for attention
to impressions
and each turn
of the body of text
an attempted seduction.
Wishing could
immerse
entirely into
not to come out
as anything
from someone
held that close
and intimately
detailed.
All love is forbidden
and forbidden love
is the only real love
worth the having
passion an outlaw
fugitive colour
riding the wild
to escape
its lynch mobs.
Distracting intrusions
of urgent
bathing of wounds
suffered dreaming
impossible loves
torment of restless
heart break
litanies of self same
in morning light.
Stabs daybreak
corpse of intent
with its excesses
too compromised
into break down
ambitious decay
always headed out
in a condition
of disregard.
No one knows
what it means
to lose someone
every day
another undertaking
sorting through
whatever is left
of a sort of love
kept too distant.
Announcements
eventually arrive
to make no difference
to stranger words
left behind
in strange places
of coin
and circumstance
forms of isolation.
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220719E
-----------
The prevalent fear
rests the same
of sharpened up
tongues
playing hard edge
along sensual motives
sliced off
and splinter glass
slivers licked
deliberations
across reminiscent
long evenings
getting past a feeling
that the blade dropped
in a sever motion
of warnings off
from anything
taken personal
and into dread
of more infection
disturbing a history
of wounds
into sleepless
tearing apart
and restitching.
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220719F
-----------
Not a knock off
spitting image
of roll call to same
marching orders
to busy
and time spent.
Uniform existence
spelled out
common tastes
tourist guide
Xerox copy of living
the advertising.
Nothing in life
to bale out
that bucket list with
stuffed with copy cat
borrowed desires
in the same packaging.
Stale small talk
with no need to know
anything done
in the dark
where ribbons and bows
come off.
Pain killers
never really kill
any of that
gone chronic habit
common shares
affliction.
Makes restless
with need
racked in the throes
of a misunderstood
don't understand
and getting free of it.
-------------------------
.
None of it is the way it seems and neither am I, but you always wanted nothing more than a carbon copy of that other person that you wanted to imagine me as really being.
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