| Re: 14 July 1789 |
Posted via Supernews, ht .. |
| Dale Houstman (dmh7@citilink.com) |
2003/08/04 12:05 |
Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: Dale Houstman <dmh7@citilink.com>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Re: 14 July 1789
Date: Mon, 04 Aug 2003 13:05:46 -0500
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Paul Heslop wrote:
> Dale Houstman wrote:
>
>>Paul Heslop wrote:
>>
>>>elag wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Paul Heslop wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>elag wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>>Oh dear. My wife loves pork pies too. I, however, once ate one in a pub
>>>>>>>and was violently ill for days afterwards. It could have been the beer
>>>>>>>or the pie, but my body will not allow mew to eat another... or even
>>>>>>>smell them sometimes!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Oh sure... but you never even thought about giving up beer... and I bet
>>>>>>you still scarf down plenty of sausages. Do you pale at the sight of a
>>>>>>porkpie hat?
>>>>>
>>>>>:O) I am totally Teetotal.
>>>>
>>>>Earl Grey, Darjeeling or Lapsang Souchong?
>>>
>>>
>>>:O) Yeah, where did the tee bit come from? I hate Tee, or TEA... gimme
>>>coffee (instant) which I have drunk since I was old enough to decide.
>>>
>>>
>>
>>Anyone - and I mean ANYONE - who could prefer instant coffee over even a
>>a glass of water squeezed from a moldy washrag, has had their taste buds
>>permanently removed and replaced with a panelist from the old Gong Show.
>>Ab-So-Lute-Ly wretched stuff; the Nixon's Armpit of hot beverages.
>>That's not a decision, it's a revolution against reality! You should be
>>in the Bastille, being humped my Monsieur Folger.
>>
>>dmh
>
>
> I'll take it you don't like instant coffee? :O)
How can anyone?! I've tried it - sometimes there just isn't a weasel
gland to suck on and you have to settle - and it is like the essence of
laminated cardboard splashed with some abysmal flavoring agent called
"Gag Now." It's Satan's ass sweat. It's fluid chitin with a little
dollop of bile and chyme tossed in to attract blowflies. Really - this
ISN'T a matter of objective opinion - the wretchedness of it is a
natural law akin to entropy. It's a sort of Bizarro version of scat,
without the allure. I wouldn't drink it if I had to stay awake to
monitor my mother's respirator. To hell with her! My tongue has rights,
and my stomach prefers that stuff you drag out of roof gutters atfer
several months of not cleaning them. If a dung beetle wore clothes,
instant coffee would be its underwear. Instant credit - sure. Instant
photos - why not? Even Instant Karma. But Instant Coffee!? I'd rather
shit into a bucket, dilute it with my cat's piss, and guzzle it with
gusto. You only go around once in life, why waste it on instant coffee?
Eat a gorilla's colon first! Drink the sweat off a warthog's eyeball!
Bath in whale puke, but - PLEASE - don't drink that deified tractor
phlegm! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Yeah - it's all right...
dmh
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