170616F
----------
Always hoping for that luck,
that brings something always wanted
that there never was any of.
The kind of thing that means gambling
rather than reaching for the sky,
and folding a last hand.
The more the desire to give it up,
the more it ties those knots and pulls.
The paradox of every foolish game
that any gambler ever chanced to play.
Trying for a way out of dreams,
and never have to dream that way again.
It all seems too similar to what was left
when all the others were picked.
Make believe fantasies failing
that it was about to be that awaited turn.
Anything can get more attention
than a skeleton’s dance across the floor.
The sun comes up giving its reminders
that time always runs out.
There is that spill onto the pavement,
and those memories as its stains.
It is always about looking for the good times
but finding that they are gone.
Did not get what was wanted,
and that left playing make believe,
until the next time after the next time,
then the time after that and again,
everything is always the same
longing for something different.
Would there be any coming back,
if it really ended up that way.
That is not the way the game is played,
and its rules keep changing.
End up wiping those eyes dry
when no one is watching.
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170616G
-----------
Hard and cold,
gone stiff,
but not from working
that long or hard
at anything so important,
and not getting rich.
Past that time,
and making up pastimes,
past times haunted
with losing propositions
as the give and take
of lessons in losses.
The usual explanations,
trying to cover up
all that uncommon pain.
Could have settled
for something less
but lacked common sense.
Learn to take it
and there is always more.
From the first to the last
there is no explanation,
only beginnings and endings
regular as garbage collection.
Would have done it
if given half a chance,
but it is like playing the slots.
It all comes up too empty
most of the time,
leaving counting the cost.
Everything wears out
given a cruel enough time,
cradle to grave,
and when it blows over
same as any perfect storm
forgetting gets forgotten.
Wanting something more
means getting something less.
Left only to the grief
with a surplus of discontent
as if that can be peddled
at a lover’s door.
--------------------
170616H
------------
Examinations of broken thoughts,
and their fracture lines.
Everything always gets traumatized,
in one way or another.
There is the need to cut away
whatever cannot be repaired.
The danger of a little more each day,
accompanied by typical fear.
Nothing really moves forward,
so the diagnosis is a temporary paralysis
that might become permanent.
One never knows the outcome.
Rows of chairs drift in the currents,
as waves wash over them.
The occupants helplessly strapped in,
all struggling to remain above water.
There are the usual sharks,
and it is very easy to be mistaken
as being one of those,
legless, armless sets of sharpened teeth.
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170616I
----------
That sense of abandonment,
that is always meticulously practiced.
Everyone gets the same
but some get it more than others.
Only the details are changed,
while patterns remain identical
to assure some uniformity.
Everyone studies the prevailing styles
and tries to be certain to copy them,
single file and in alphabetical sequence.
Everything is kept as shallow as possible,
in numbered sequences.
An effort to make sure no one drowns,
any new sorrows in unusual ways.
Abandoning past rituals
progress becomes inventing new ones,
but retaining the same old problems
as to who gets initiated.
Most everything is about developing habits
proving to doubters
as to not ever straying from routine.
There are those who really believe
that there are still some good machines
which never deviate or differ
maintaining tight specifications
as to how they should daydream.
The perfectly predictable performance
of eternal recurrences of the same.
Some still believe
that they can be washed clean
of all of the usual and common stains,
but worry about anything unusual.
They examine the lint trap
for foreign inclusions,
worried about potential contamination.
It is entirely noteworthy
as to the utterly predictable and ordinary
never being so very alone.
Their assembly carefully examined
and officially approved at inspection,
they secretly worry about every word
and struggle to gesture in unison.
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