VOLUNTEER POETS NEEDED
There are a number of understaffed poetry
projects that are in need of immediate assistance.
I am going to be in France for the next
couple weeks, so must delegate this authority.
There are so many worthy projects.
Won't you please help?
For example:
* THE FISH LADY OF FLORIDA
Remember the woman who went boating
in Florida, and got hit in the face
by a flying sting-ray, and died
instantly of the head trauma?
That pathetic woman and her ridiculous
death, probably more than anything in recent
memory, highlights the morbid absurdity
and the true character of the existential
hell in which we all live.
This poor, ridiculous woman deserves to
have her story immortalized in poetry.
The correct style for this poem would be
doggerel, because that would most poignantly
capture the triviality of human existence.
However, not just any, old doggerel will do.
This project requires capturing irreverently
every nuance of the pointlessness of the
pain-wracked comedy that reduces each and
every human being to little more than the
level of the dumb, freakish fish that
capriciously ended this woman's existence
on earth.
This is not to make light of the pitiful woman-
Indeed, it is to bring home the point that
we are all just like her. Never more than
a Flying Fickle Fish of Fate in The Face
away from gruesome death.
This poetry project would be an opportunity
to demonstrate that doggerel can be a worthy
art-form, requiring as much care and attention
as "serious" poetry.
* DICK CHENEY
I see a nursery rhyme, here- "The crooked Little
Man With the Crooked Little Smile"
THe goal is to contrast all the gore and blood
of the Iraq war, against the innocence of a
Mother Goose story, while making a statement
about the Vice-President's stark raving madness.
* THE POETS OF GUANTANAMO
They need help. After all the shocking torture
and abuse, it is also shocking that this abuse
has not done more to stimulate their creative
instincts. Some of their poetry about pigeons
is still quite lame, and in need of some
expert assistance.
This is your chance to demonstrate how those
pigeons can be trained to demolish bridges,
carry secret messages, spread deadly flu strains,
etc, etc. What fun is terror, if its
imagination cannot take flight like a pigeon?
PLEASE, people - a few rhymes, a couple
stanzas, whatever you can spare.
PAY AND BENEFITS:
What? Are you kidding? This is poetry,
that we are talking about. Get real.
Tom Keske
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