PORCELAIN POPE FOR SALE
The First Church of the Faithful Factory Warehouse of God
has for sale a plentiful number of expertly crafted,
cold -cast, pure powered porcelain Popes,
every one hand-painted as a tribute to the saint who was
personally untainted by any sort of sordid scandals,
which got out of control because he didn't quite
have a handle on them.
But he never had his hands anywhere else that they
weren't supposed to be. He was a man who touched
millions, but NEVER inappropriately.
BUY NOW, DAMMIT!
Buy your premium-sized, full foot-long Pope plate,
to honor the man who was so great. Do it today,
and don't forget to pray, and don't forget that you
can pay our low, low price in an easy payment plan!
For no additional charge, we will even throw in a
dazzling display stand!
Every collector plate is gold-plated with 23kt, to show
how much we care. You can pay for your overpriced
collector plate by dipping into the collection plate,
when no one is looking. It isn't a sin, if no one knows
how much you took. You do the confessing, and
we will do the blessing, with no second-guessing.
SEND NO MONEY, NOW!
The People's Pope gave sight to the blind and cured
the lepers, and had more compassion than a peck of
pickled peppers. The global outpouring
over the passing of the compassionate Pope and
his crown of thorns has exploded like popcorn.
Order now for your favorite holy cow!
Don't just stand there- get on your knees!
Satisfaction guaranteed!
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