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Date: Sun, 10 Apr 2005 22:12:07 -0500
From: Dale Houstman <dmh7@skypoint.com>
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Subject: Re: Ruminating on a Dead Pope
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Parry wrote:
> It has recently come to my attention that Pope Karol Wojtyla has died.
> He surely wasn't the worst Pope, even though he crushed Liberation
> Theology. My condolences to his wife and children. I understand he has
> been buried in a wood casket inside a metal casket inside another wood
> one, a configuration which, if I am not mistaken, constitutes an orgone
> accumulator. So when they exhume him in five years he should look ten
> years younger and have a healthy erection.
>
> I do not think the Vatican should proceed with its plan to make Paul
> Wolfowitz the next Pope, as the position may interfere with his duties
> at the World Bank. Rather, the Vatican should modernize the Holy See,
> perhaps selecting a black female, someone with a good set of knockers
> and not afraid to show a little leg.
>
> It seems that for forever Pope Karol was there to entertain us -- the
> time Mark David Chapman shot him to impress Jodie Foster, the day he
> invented cold fusion... The world won't see his kind again for probably
> a couple of weeks.
>
> -- Parry
>
PAPAL ASSIGNATIONS
opened in the air above his doddering pate and out poured a veritable
lake of cheap liquor. This event cannot be verified (although CNN is
already reporting it using CGI, and NBC, ABC, and CBS are jockeying to
create a mini-series based on the story, as it was related by an old man
selling woolen bicycles in the streets of Belgrade). The Pope is
supposed to have fell to his knees and washed himself in the rot-gut,
procure the role of either the small door or the lake of rot-gut, as the
part of the Pope has already been given to the dead yet still popular
Milton Berle, who has returned to the stages of the Catskills to hone
some new material for the gig. Sadly, due to budget constraints, the
entire college of cardinals must be played by one man, but Jeff Probst
(of Survivor fame) says he is up to the job.
In a related story, Serena Williams let a random priest give her a good
good thump. Robert Crumb immediately begged to play the dead Pope.
---
dmh
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