Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "john adams" <nospam@nospam.com>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
References: <QuLdc.3250$rg5.29618@attbi_s52> <CMMec.38657$LL6.1024@fe1.texas.rr.com> <407BEC27.60007@citilink.com> <9KWec.42685$LL6.37745@fe1.texas.rr.com> <407CAED1.1040901@citilink.com> <wF3fc.21124$jR6.19890@fe2.texas.rr.com> <407D0E15.2060104@citilink.com> <kBqfc.3010$Se5.2603@fe2.texas.rr.com> <407E7365.8090002@citilink.com>
Subject: Re: Let's Get Metaphysical
Lines: 128
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1409
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1409
Message-ID: <ypDfc.5774$Se5.2369@fe2.texas.rr.com>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 21:47:10 GMT
NNTP-Posting-Host: 66.25.163.13
X-Complaints-To: abuse@rr.com
X-Trace: fe2.texas.rr.com 1082065630 66.25.163.13 (Thu, 15 Apr 2004 16:47:10 CDT)
NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 16:47:10 CDT
Organization: Road Runner High Speed Online http://www.rr.com
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.surrealism:1162
"Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
news:407E7365.8090002@citilink.com...
>
>
> john adams wrote:
> > "Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
> > news:407D0E15.2060104@citilink.com...
> >
> >>
> >> john adams wrote:
> >>> "Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:407CAED1.1040901@citilink.com...
> >>>
> >>>>
> >>>> john adams wrote:
> >>>>> "Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:407BEC27.60007@citilink.com...
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> john adams wrote:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>> I'd like to hear more about hats. I'm thinking about
> >>>>>>> opening a small business soon.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Thanks, j
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats are the only animals which will crawl into your hand
> >>>>>> to die, if you palm a piece of Velveeta.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats abhor small businessmen.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats have exo-skeletons made of hydrogenated felt, and they
> >>>>>> cling to the ceiling during the evening news. Don't look!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats are gastropods who want to fly.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats hear voices coming fronm your head.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats might as well be doughnuts in a hurricane.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> 50% of America's hats voted for Republicans, and look what
> >>>>>> they got for the effort! 50% of America's hats voted for
> >>>>>> Democrats, and look what they got for the effort!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> If a hat climbs up a red ladder, it can't climb down again.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Hats!
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Excellent info! Just what I wanted to hear! Hats are going to
> >>>>> be the next big thing. I feel it: hats are going to be
> >>>>> everywhere. Hats off to hats and hats off to things!
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>> My suggestion: small businessmen should wear large hats, and
> >>>> large businessmen should wear small hats, and all businessmen
> >>>> should be stunned and thrown into the Fedorabbatoir and made
> >>>> into breakfast links.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Nonsense. Businessmen are businessmen. Blind and gag the frogmen.
> >>> They dont have ears and never listen to their orders. Pump them
> >>> full of air and float them across the border. When you get the
> >>> time. Drop your drawers and salute the queen on your way home.
> >>> Marry a stag fish. Break out of jail and go loco.
> >>>
> >>>
> >> I once dropped multiple drawers in an attempt (ala Hansel and Greta
> >> Garbo) to leave a trail back to mother's brothotel, but the swamp
> >> chiggers oozed out of a small blue beret and ate them all up, so we
> >> wandered deeper and deeper into the Mega Mall until we found a
> >> kiosk made entirely of trans-fatty acids. Then we went to war with
> >> Cleveland, and Greta had to put on the camouflage tutu, sew her
> >> head into a flour bag and live in a fur-lined trnech. Even the
> >> Underwears'R'Us store didn't cheer me up. Off in the diatance -
> >> conveniently painted on the wall near the Haveadump Station - a
> >> mountain gorilla peeled the pajamas off a haberdasher.
> >
> >
> > Of course, that reminds me of the story of Prince Toomanynames who
> > had once kissed a bride and turned her into a rusted coat. In
> > exclamation he coughed and then went to sleep, only to awake to his
> > eye sockets being scraped out by a hungry lion. When the blizzard was
> > finally over Lord Multi Operational Planning Commitee called upon the
> > citizens of the land to commit suicide by decree. As this was an
> > unpopular decision everyone decided to go to war. In the end good
> > looks prevailed over beauty. Prince Toomanynames married Vanity Party
> > advocate Au Contraire. In a limo wreck on the day of his 5th wife's
> > execution the Prince was thrown several feet in the air and never
> > heard from again.
> >
> >
> Dr. Momo's Analysis:
>
> 1. "Prince Toomanynames" is a too-obvious anagram of "Yakima Revolver,"
> who was the author of (not-coincidentally) a novel entitled "A Rusted
Coat."
>
> 2. In southern Fluorinia, "kissing a bride" means that one is giving
> birth to a rusted eye socket.
>
> 3. There are no lions in Hungary.
>
> 4. The Vanity Party is still going on, although Au Contraire was raped
> by a Hungarian lion over by the water cooler.
>
> 5. In E.R's third season, the gang went to a local bar which featured
> lion-headed swizzle sticks and a menu item called "The Hungarian rust
> Coat." No one has ever ordered it.
>
> dmh
>
>
>
>
> That limo was really a linoleum tile, so it is no surprise it went off
> the road in search of common ground.
So, at least we can determine that lions from hungary were responbile
for the mass extermination of the gentle cardinal people. Living in huts
above ground did not protect them from predators or harsh IRS
investigations. Reporting from a taxi deep beneath the sea, over to
you...
|
| Follow-ups: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
|