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From: "john adams" <nospam@nospam.com>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
References: <QuLdc.3250$rg5.29618@attbi_s52> <CMMec.38657$LL6.1024@fe1.texas.rr.com> <407BEC27.60007@citilink.com> <9KWec.42685$LL6.37745@fe1.texas.rr.com> <407CAED1.1040901@citilink.com> <wF3fc.21124$jR6.19890@fe2.texas.rr.com> <407D0E15.2060104@citilink.com>
Subject: Re: Let's Get Metaphysical
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Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 07:12:16 GMT
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"Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
news:407D0E15.2060104@citilink.com...
>
>
> john adams wrote:
> > "Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
> > news:407CAED1.1040901@citilink.com...
> >
> >>
> >> john adams wrote:
> >>> "Dale Houstman" <dmh7@citilink.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:407BEC27.60007@citilink.com...
> >>>
> >>>>
> >>>> john adams wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> I'd like to hear more about hats. I'm thinking about opening
> >>>>> a small business soon.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Thanks, j
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats are the only animals which will crawl into your hand to
> >>>> die, if you palm a piece of Velveeta.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats abhor small businessmen.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats have exo-skeletons made of hydrogenated felt, and they
> >>>> cling to the ceiling during the evening news. Don't look!
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats are gastropods who want to fly.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats hear voices coming fronm your head.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats might as well be doughnuts in a hurricane.
> >>>>
> >>>> 50% of America's hats voted for Republicans, and look what they
> >>>> got for the effort! 50% of America's hats voted for Democrats,
> >>>> and look what they got for the effort!
> >>>>
> >>>> If a hat climbs up a red ladder, it can't climb down again.
> >>>>
> >>>> Hats!
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Excellent info! Just what I wanted to hear! Hats are going to be
> >>> the next big thing. I feel it: hats are going to be everywhere.
> >>> Hats off to hats and hats off to things!
> >>>
> >>>
> >> My suggestion: small businessmen should wear large hats, and large
> >> businessmen should wear small hats, and all businessmen should be
> >> stunned and thrown into the Fedorabbatoir and made into breakfast
> >> links.
> >
> >
> > Nonsense. Businessmen are businessmen. Blind and gag the frogmen.
> > They dont have ears and never listen to their orders. Pump them full
> > of air and float them across the border. When you get the time. Drop
> > your drawers and salute the queen on your way home. Marry a stag
> > fish. Break out of jail and go loco.
> >
> >
> I once dropped multiple drawers in an attempt (ala Hansel and Greta
> Garbo) to leave a trail back to mother's brothotel, but the swamp
> chiggers oozed out of a small blue beret and ate them all up, so we
> wandered deeper and deeper into the Mega Mall until we found a kiosk
> made entirely of trans-fatty acids. Then we went to war with Cleveland,
> and Greta had to put on the camouflage tutu, sew her head into a flour
> bag and live in a fur-lined trnech. Even the Underwears'R'Us store
> didn't cheer me up. Off in the diatance - conveniently painted on the
> wall near the Haveadump Station - a mountain gorilla peeled the pajamas
> off a haberdasher.
Of course, that reminds me of the story of Prince Toomanynames who
had once kissed a bride and turned her into a rusted coat. In exclamation
he coughed and then went to sleep, only to awake to his eye sockets
being scraped out by a hungry lion. When the blizzard was finally over
Lord Multi Operational Planning Commitee called upon the citizens of
the land to commit suicide by decree. As this was an unpopular decision
everyone decided to go to war. In the end good looks prevailed over
beauty. Prince Toomanynames married Vanity Party advocate Au
Contraire. In a limo wreck on the day of his 5th wife's execution the
Prince was thrown several feet in the air and never heard from again.
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