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From: the3rdman666@hotmail.com
Newsgroups: alt.masturbation
Subject: Re: For Harry Lime
Date: 30 Oct 2005 10:15:01 -0800
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Dear Elder Vic:
Please see inside text:
> Well no too much about Mormon Pr0n, just a couple of guys dishing about
> different topics -- tuned out early as it was boooring.
> I've been toying with the idea of putting up a spoof site (ala' the old
> 'Osama Porn' page) on this topic for several years now, but have been
> concerned about copywrite issues as the LDSers have trademarked lots of
> Mormon imagery. "Bring 'em early, brigham young" -- that kinda stuff.
Here's one for you:
http://www.rmwhome.com/jackson.htm
>I don't blame you for being hesitant. Despite the fair use idea which
exempts parodies, they've got a lot of dough and have no problem
SLAPPing
when they feel the urge (though they don't rival the $cient0l0gists in
this regard).>
Great, love how the Lamanites are getting lighter by the day -- which
has a basis in LDS scripture, but I don't have the time or inclination
to look this up. L:OL!~
Being older and cautious I just don't have the spunk anymore to run the
risk of being sued. I kinda like peace and tranquility these days.
> Sorry to see you didn't have much luck getting a love connection going
> between Art Bullah and Tani -- that would've been 'priceless'.
>I still have "faith" that these two stellar prophets, seers and
revelators will someday lock in a slow orbit around one another, a
binary
kook system, and the fine regs of both our groups will be able to bask
in
the starlight of their combined power to illuminate and amuse.<
Oh, but how can both be "one mighty and strong" I ask? Does Bullah
claim he's from Pioneer stock?
> Been thinking about toying with the people in this group:
> http://www.ldsr.org/clean/ -- "Clean-LDS is a resource for the support
> of those struggling to overcome pornography addiction or abuse, using
> the framework of the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of
> Latter-day Saints." Could be funny posting examples of Profits (sic)
> Prophets banging 13-year-old girls.
>Harry, I have felt the prompting of the spirit, and am strongly moved by
a stiffening in my loins to warn you against the unhealthy problems of
both pr0n and pole-polishing.<
Yeah, well if Brigham Young could marry a 13-year-old girl, why can't
I? For that matter, the Fundie Mormons don't have an issue with this,
but it seems the US government does see this as statutory rape. Pr0n
and pole-polishing seem major offences in this light, 'cept for
violating state and federal laws.
>I pray, in the name of Joseph Smith, that you might change your evil ways
and come to a true peace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. God the holy
ghost is calling out to you, encouraging you to take up this sacred
cause
yourself. Let it be a mission you serve, to all kindreds tongues (LOL)
and peoples.<
Oh yeah, me too. That's what the missionary told me while he was
sucking my...toes... Just another variation of
http://www.lds-mormon.com/veilworker/footwashing.shtml But then again,
despite the suggestions of some regulars here, I'm quite "well
endowed". (Sorry Vic, couldn't help myself.)
>I close this evening with a most inspiring message from the apostle
Petersen (a name I couldn't parody here, even if I tried), so that your
forearm might be strengthened as you hold to the iron rod in these
latter
days. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!<
STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been,
both
male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be
so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must
decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that
decision,
the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is
good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your
mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist
any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to
you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
guidelines:
A Guide to Self-Control:
<snip>
Great suggestions, Elder Vic. I'll make sure and "tie one hand to the
bed while I sleep" and wear "several layers of pjs" too.
Regards,
Bishop Harry Lime
AMORC (asinine mormon onanists reconsidering castration)
www.harrylime.biz
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