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From: Doc NP-f31
Newsgroups: alt.fan.utb.naughty-boy
Subject: Re: A Discussion Starter
Date: Wed, 20 Jul 2011 21:38:57 -0400
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On 19 Jul 2011 14:14:01 -0500, "Group_Troll"
<GroupTroll@Pissed.Off.nl> wrote:
Dear Naughties,
Thank you all for adding to the discussion. If I may I would like to
answer your important points in one e-mail.
>WOW! When trolls get together we fight. You humans must have a
>wonderful ability to make friends/become friends. Openly talking about
>your lives - he draws knowledge from you and you re-live your childhood
>thru him. It must give both of you a warm, fuzzy feeling.
Hi GT!
You are a leader in the Troll Community, and as such, I proudly notice
that you set an example foryour fellow Trolls by communicating
effectively with non-Trolls (NT's). In this way you influence Troll
Scoiety in a very subtle, but effective way. I have always believed
that Troll Boys are very similar to NT Boys, do you find that to be
the case?
Your insight into NT male bonding is astute. We both got a warm and
fuzzy feeling. In sharing, as you noted, we taught each other. He
taught me about what the world looks like through his eyes. I shared a
worldview that was tempered with the experience that life gives you.
My experiences and viewpoint is different from what he has known and
he is at an age when he is taking what he has been exposed to and
building his own unique viewpoint. It was an honor to be a part of it
and very instructive to one who pays very close attention to boys. I
reveled in his presence and he in mine.
>Did you two compare the likes and dislikes both of you have?
Sure! It's interesting how he sees himself, compared to his father and
grandfather, both were/are brilliant, one a scientist and inventor,
the other a nuclear physicist. Zack knows that his Dad is a geek, he
suspects he is a geek, but he is fighting the label. To encourage a
boy to embrace his smarts is an interesting challenge. But when I told
him how much I admired both of his predecessors and pointed out that
he was in a position to take the family brains to the next level, I
think he bought into it.
>And I agree with you big time on him being able to discuss with you some
>topics that he could not or should not discuss with his father - no
>matter how open his father may be.
It's true, Zack had no built in filter for everythign I say.So when he
listened to what I had to say it was with an open mind. And he did
listen because he knew how it felt to him when I listened closely to
what he had to say.
>Too bad you could not bring him home with you for a week.
That would be great, but maybe I can be a bigger influence by
legitiming (in his mind) the support structure that is already built
into his life.
Hey VV!
>I did feel a certain regret that our society
>seems to insist that anyone who is a bit chubby must have a low self
>esteem. And because of this prejudice, it becomes fact.
I agree, the mindset is damaging. Zack, at 14, is in the middle of
the social warzone, but I think he has a healthy attitude about it.
Certainly most of my efforts went toward showing him the value of his
own 'self'. I saw this improve over three days.
>If, as you say, a boy who is in love with you shall seek you out, then
>I am bereft! For none must love ME, for I have not been out--SOUGHT!
>Sotted, yes. Out-sought, no! Still, there's always hope!
You know that I've always urged you to get out and amongst the boys in
your world more. You shared a little of your situation, but you really
have to be socially involved. The boys are there. They need you, be
there for them. Shyness is not an excuse. You're not going to do
anything to harm a child, no matter how tempted you are. Your head is
on straight VV. You can start by going out and smiling at the first
boy you see. You might be surprised by his reaction.
Hey BenDog!
>In a world where parents are fighting to get the bills paid and the
>plates filled, having someone outside the family who can be talked to
>and spend time with, is useful and in many cases essential. Many
>youngsters have home and school and nothing else, so who do they talk
>to when things are tough/confusing etc., and how do they learn to
>express themselves - often the investment of a little time, love and
>affection can alter a person, both receiver and giver, in a very short
>space of time.
You make a great point. When I get to know kids sometimes I am amazed
at how unplugged their parents are from their lives. I've known boys
who have Dads at home full time and they are starved for attention
because Dad is too self absorbed, or couldn't be bothered to spend
time with his son. I am the beneficiary of a relationship with a
wonderful boy and the boy gets the attention he needs and is starved
for at a critical moment. Very often, if we don't reach a boy by age
14, we've lost him.
You also point out so well that being all about a boy, giving of
yourself unselfishly and without expectation of anything in return,
usually ends up being one of the most fulfilling relationships guys
like us ever have.
Hey IFB!
>Yes, it truly is wonderful how our special love for boys draws them
>to us. Even little girls love me because of my overall love for all
>children. My dad's girlfriend has brough her 2 daughters, ages 4 and
>7 over a few times and the 2nd time they were over, the 7yo came up
>to me and hugged me as soon as she got out of the car. :)
You're right. Giving someone else your full attention and showing that
you care will create the same amazing results with just about anyone
in need of understanding. Have you ever tried giving an elderly person
a boysmile? It would warm your heart to see the reaction. It takes so
little effort to be unselfish and the rewards are staggering whether
it's a grandmother, a little girl or one of our precious boys.
Hey Rusty,
>All I can say is, where were you
>when I was a kid! I needed a friend like you
>were with Zack when I was that age.
I wish I had been able to be there for you. I'm sure we would have
given each other much joy and friendship. I don't know what your needs
are now, but I can stlll be a friend to you if you need one. That door
is always open. Let me know if you need a good listener...
Much love to you and all my friends here,
Doc
NP-f31
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