Doc NP-f31 wrote in news:v6g927hmnarq7t9dblbuefgegfbp7gp83f@4ax.com:
> I posted this over in The Fort a few days ago, but it got lost in a
> picture flood, so I thought I'd bring it over here where saner people
> hang out. Not that there is anything wrong with being Insane For Boys.
> LOL!
>
> Last week I went to a family get together and was able to connect with
> my young cousin, Zack. I hadn't seen Zack in a few years. He was
> eleven or so then and a chubby, quiet fellow. It usually took some
> time to draw him out of his shell, but it was worth it because he's an
> extremely intelligent and fun kid.
>
> Zack is 14 now. The first thing he asked me when he saw me
> was about where my son was. I told him that my son was at the beach
> with his best friend. He was disappointed at first, but then he saw my
> new puppy, Olli, and was smitten. He asked if he could pet Olli and I
> said, 'Of course, you can hold him if you want.' I gave him Olli to
> hold and then said, 'Zack, this puberty thing is really working out
> for you. You've dropped some weight, put on some muscle and you are
> looking good!' It was true too, but the compliment really caused him
> to brighten considerably. From that moment on he was my constant
> companion.
>
> Paying attention to a boy can cause some remarkable things to happen.
> Boys like Zack, who are former tubbies, often still have self esteem
> problems. They are often shy and unused to attention. When they see
> someone who is genuinely interested in them as a person, well, that
> feeling is like crack for them. They can't get enough of it. Over the
> course of the weekend Zack came ALL the way out of his shell. He even
> stood up in front of a crowd and performed in a talent show. He
> admitted that it was a big step for him.
>
> When a boy begins to fall in love with you he will seek you out. His
> intent is to engage you so that you will be all about him. As
> boylovers, we are all about them anyway. So, invariably a boy who
> normally wouldn't put two sentences together in conversation with an
> adult will end up having long interesting conversations with the man
> who pays attention to him. So it was with Zack. Zack has a wonderful
> Dad who is active in his life, but a boy like Zack, and indeed most
> boys, truly benefit from a strong relationship with a man who is not
> their father. It gives them something to weigh against what they hear
> from their parents. The attention they receive, especially if it is
> positive attention, causes their self esteem to rocket upward.
>
> Both Zack and I continued our normal routines during our weekend
> together, but it always seemed like when I sat down from some errand I
> would soon find Zack at my side. Being sought out is a wonderful
> feeling for us as boylovers. There were many other Dads, boys, and
> people where we were that Zack knew well, but he stayed around me most
> of the time, as did many of the other boys, his little brothers
> included. I'm sure this has happens to most of you as well. You are a
> boy magnet. I can't explain it, it is the way we are. My ex-wife
> always said it was because I have an open face and personality. Maybe
> she's right, who knows?
>
> We talked about scouting, a passion of his. We talked about school,
> sports, girls, whatever came up. We could talk this way because he was
> comfortable around me in ways he isn't with his Dad. His Dad was often
> right there with us as Zack talked and acknowledged Zack's openness
> around me.
>
> In the end, we laughed shared many stories and revelled in each
> other's company. He shyly asked me if I had a Facebook account; I said
> that I did and asked him if he had one. He said, 'Not yet, but he'll
> be allowed to have one next month when he gets a new laptop.' He
> 'friended' me on his Mom's account yesterday. LOL! I was the emcee for
> the 'Talent Show' and encouraged him to get up and perform. He did, he
> put on sunglasses and read a list of the world's worst jokes from his
> iPhone in a completely deadpan delivery. Stephen Wright would have
> been proud. It was VERY funny.
>
> When we parted, he hugged me. He said, 'I never do this' and proceeded
> to give me an awkward 'Bro-hug' complete with back pat. I said, 'Try
> it this way', and gave him a warm bear hug. 'Your way is better,' he
> acknowledged.
>
> So, I gave him my time and attention. He got a boatload of self
> esteem, happy memories and the kind of attention he could get nowhere
> else. I watched him grow over three days. It was a beautiful sight.
>
> What did I get?
>
> I got to spend the weekend with a wonderful boy.
>
> Life is good.
>
> Doc
> NP-f31
>
> Your comments solicited.
>
Thanks for sharing this wonderful
experience. All I can say is, where were you
when I was a kid! I needed a friend like you
were with Zack when I was that age.
You both are very lucky to have this wonderful friendship!
Thanks again Doc!
Rusty
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