On Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:28:33 -0400, Doc NP-f31 wrote:
>I posted this over in The Fort a few days ago, but it got lost in a
>picture flood, so I thought I'd bring it over here where saner people
>hang out. Not that there is anything wrong with being Insane For Boys.
>LOL!
>
>Last week I went to a family get together and was able to connect with
>my young cousin, Zack. I hadn't seen Zack in a few years. He was
>eleven or so then and a chubby, quiet fellow. It usually took some
>time to draw him out of his shell, but it was worth it because he's an
>extremely intelligent and fun kid.
>
>Zack is 14 now. The first thing he asked me when he saw me
>was about where my son was. I told him that my son was at the beach
>with his best friend. He was disappointed at first, but then he saw my
>new puppy, Olli, and was smitten. He asked if he could pet Olli and I
>said, 'Of course, you can hold him if you want.' I gave him Olli to
>hold and then said, 'Zack, this puberty thing is really working out
>for you. You've dropped some weight, put on some muscle and you are
>looking good!' It was true too, but the compliment really caused him
>to brighten considerably. From that moment on he was my constant
>companion.
>
>Paying attention to a boy can cause some remarkable things to happen.
>Boys like Zack, who are former tubbies, often still have self esteem
>problems. They are often shy and unused to attention. When they see
>someone who is genuinely interested in them as a person, well, that
>feeling is like crack for them. They can't get enough of it. Over the
>course of the weekend Zack came ALL the way out of his shell. He even
>stood up in front of a crowd and performed in a talent show. He
>admitted that it was a big step for him.
>
>When a boy begins to fall in love with you he will seek you out. His
>intent is to engage you so that you will be all about him. As
>boylovers, we are all about them anyway. So, invariably a boy who
>normally wouldn't put two sentences together in conversation with an
>adult will end up having long interesting conversations with the man
>who pays attention to him. So it was with Zack. Zack has a wonderful
>Dad who is active in his life, but a boy like Zack, and indeed most
>boys, truly benefit from a strong relationship with a man who is not
>their father. It gives them something to weigh against what they hear
>from their parents. The attention they receive, especially if it is
>positive attention, causes their self esteem to rocket upward.
>
>Both Zack and I continued our normal routines during our weekend
>together, but it always seemed like when I sat down from some errand I
>would soon find Zack at my side. Being sought out is a wonderful
>feeling for us as boylovers. There were many other Dads, boys, and
>people where we were that Zack knew well, but he stayed around me most
>of the time, as did many of the other boys, his little brothers
>included. I'm sure this has happens to most of you as well. You are a
>boy magnet. I can't explain it, it is the way we are. My ex-wife
>always said it was because I have an open face and personality. Maybe
>she's right, who knows?
>
>We talked about scouting, a passion of his. We talked about school,
>sports, girls, whatever came up. We could talk this way because he was
>comfortable around me in ways he isn't with his Dad. His Dad was often
>right there with us as Zack talked and acknowledged Zack's openness
>around me.
>
>In the end, we laughed shared many stories and revelled in each
>other's company. He shyly asked me if I had a Facebook account; I said
>that I did and asked him if he had one. He said, 'Not yet, but he'll
>be allowed to have one next month when he gets a new laptop.' He
>'friended' me on his Mom's account yesterday. LOL! I was the emcee for
>the 'Talent Show' and encouraged him to get up and perform. He did, he
>put on sunglasses and read a list of the world's worst jokes from his
>iPhone in a completely deadpan delivery. Stephen Wright would have
>been proud. It was VERY funny.
>
>When we parted, he hugged me. He said, 'I never do this' and proceeded
>to give me an awkward 'Bro-hug' complete with back pat. I said, 'Try
>it this way', and gave him a warm bear hug. 'Your way is better,' he
>acknowledged.
>
>So, I gave him my time and attention. He got a boatload of self
>esteem, happy memories and the kind of attention he could get nowhere
>else. I watched him grow over three days. It was a beautiful sight.
>
>What did I get?
>
>I got to spend the weekend with a wonderful boy.
>
>Life is good.
>
>Doc
>NP-f31
>
>Your comments solicited.
Dear Doc,
The day's shadows lengthen now toward night ... and I thought I'd
reply.
Congratulations on having an ace time with your nephew, Zack. He
seems like a very nice fellow, and having become a slimmer, more
handsome one at that. I did feel a certain regret that our society
seems to insist that anyone who is a bit chubby must have a low self
esteem. And because of this prejudice, it becomes fact. There are
societies that value a chubby child, adults who smile sincerely in
satisfaction at a slightly chubby boy or girl, son or daughter.
(For the record, I am not nor have ever been chubby. At birth I came
out looking much like (or so my mother stated) a monkey. As a boy, I
was thin to skinny, and as a man for the greater part of my adulthood,
I was over 6 foot and only 11 stone in weight.)
If, as you say, a boy who is in love with you shall seek you out, then
I am bereft! For none must love ME, for I have not been out--SOUGHT!
Sotted, yes. Out-sought, no! Still, there's always hope!
Horribly Jealous Yours
I Remain
HMS Victor Victorian, NP-g18
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