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From: Doc NP-f31
Newsgroups: alt.fan.utb.naughty-boy
Subject: A Discussion Starter
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:28:33 -0400
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I posted this over in The Fort a few days ago, but it got lost in a
picture flood, so I thought I'd bring it over here where saner people
hang out. Not that there is anything wrong with being Insane For Boys.
LOL!
Last week I went to a family get together and was able to connect with
my young cousin, Zack. I hadn't seen Zack in a few years. He was
eleven or so then and a chubby, quiet fellow. It usually took some
time to draw him out of his shell, but it was worth it because he's an
extremely intelligent and fun kid.
Zack is 14 now. The first thing he asked me when he saw me
was about where my son was. I told him that my son was at the beach
with his best friend. He was disappointed at first, but then he saw my
new puppy, Olli, and was smitten. He asked if he could pet Olli and I
said, 'Of course, you can hold him if you want.' I gave him Olli to
hold and then said, 'Zack, this puberty thing is really working out
for you. You've dropped some weight, put on some muscle and you are
looking good!' It was true too, but the compliment really caused him
to brighten considerably. From that moment on he was my constant
companion.
Paying attention to a boy can cause some remarkable things to happen.
Boys like Zack, who are former tubbies, often still have self esteem
problems. They are often shy and unused to attention. When they see
someone who is genuinely interested in them as a person, well, that
feeling is like crack for them. They can't get enough of it. Over the
course of the weekend Zack came ALL the way out of his shell. He even
stood up in front of a crowd and performed in a talent show. He
admitted that it was a big step for him.
When a boy begins to fall in love with you he will seek you out. His
intent is to engage you so that you will be all about him. As
boylovers, we are all about them anyway. So, invariably a boy who
normally wouldn't put two sentences together in conversation with an
adult will end up having long interesting conversations with the man
who pays attention to him. So it was with Zack. Zack has a wonderful
Dad who is active in his life, but a boy like Zack, and indeed most
boys, truly benefit from a strong relationship with a man who is not
their father. It gives them something to weigh against what they hear
from their parents. The attention they receive, especially if it is
positive attention, causes their self esteem to rocket upward.
Both Zack and I continued our normal routines during our weekend
together, but it always seemed like when I sat down from some errand I
would soon find Zack at my side. Being sought out is a wonderful
feeling for us as boylovers. There were many other Dads, boys, and
people where we were that Zack knew well, but he stayed around me most
of the time, as did many of the other boys, his little brothers
included. I'm sure this has happens to most of you as well. You are a
boy magnet. I can't explain it, it is the way we are. My ex-wife
always said it was because I have an open face and personality. Maybe
she's right, who knows?
We talked about scouting, a passion of his. We talked about school,
sports, girls, whatever came up. We could talk this way because he was
comfortable around me in ways he isn't with his Dad. His Dad was often
right there with us as Zack talked and acknowledged Zack's openness
around me.
In the end, we laughed shared many stories and revelled in each
other's company. He shyly asked me if I had a Facebook account; I said
that I did and asked him if he had one. He said, 'Not yet, but he'll
be allowed to have one next month when he gets a new laptop.' He
'friended' me on his Mom's account yesterday. LOL! I was the emcee for
the 'Talent Show' and encouraged him to get up and perform. He did, he
put on sunglasses and read a list of the world's worst jokes from his
iPhone in a completely deadpan delivery. Stephen Wright would have
been proud. It was VERY funny.
When we parted, he hugged me. He said, 'I never do this' and proceeded
to give me an awkward 'Bro-hug' complete with back pat. I said, 'Try
it this way', and gave him a warm bear hug. 'Your way is better,' he
acknowledged.
So, I gave him my time and attention. He got a boatload of self
esteem, happy memories and the kind of attention he could get nowhere
else. I watched him grow over three days. It was a beautiful sight.
What did I get?
I got to spend the weekend with a wonderful boy.
Life is good.
Doc
NP-f31
Your comments solicited.
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