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From: HMS Victor Victorian <VictorVictorian@NBG.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.utb.naughty-boy
Subject: Some Light Reading
Date: Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:19:42 -0700
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Due to the apparent fact, according to some sources whose reputation
for accuracy and coherence would not stand close inspection, that I am
no longer able to post, I thought I would therefore
NOT POST
the following, rather amusing and endearing item below which I
discovered on a notorious, popular website of Russian derivation,
which, of course, you cannot see because it has not been posted due to
my "sacking" as it were. So, if you do see it, I suggest you are
delusional.
Which, of course, applies completely to this message as well!
I quote--or perhaps DON'T quote.
"We have a serious problem in our house lately. I call it The Penis
Problem. The Penis Problem began a few months ago, when my three
year-old son, Davis,started wearing underwear. Freed from the
restrictive, super absorbent polymers of his diaper, Davis's penis had
some lost time to make up for, and it didn't waste a second. Within
two days of being potty trained, Davis's hand took up permanent
residence down the front of his pants, as if it were an old person
who'd decided to head south and retire, where it was warm. After
another few days, however, Davis did away with pants entirely,
preferring instead to spend hisdays in a shirt and nothing else. The
Why We Must Wear Pants to School discussion became a part of
ourmorning routine, like eating breakfast and brushing teeth. The
moment he gets home from school, however, the pants come off. And I
really do mean the moment he gets home from school. He literally walks
in the front door, and before he does anything else, he sits down in
the foyer, flings off his shoes and socks, and with great relief,
pulls off his pants and underwear and leaves it all in a little
boy-pile by the front door. If you saw this, you'd think the pants
weighed five hundred pounds and were made of metal, or lined with
thumbtacks,maybe. With the Penis flapping in the wind, he then goes
off and builds forts with the sofa pillows, plays Power Rangers,
creates Lincoln Log behemoths, and practices skateboarding tricks.
When he tires of all of this activity, he likes to just walk around
and "twirl" himself. As in, "Davis, what are you doing with your penis
right now?" "I'm twirling it, mama. I like it." 'Kay. In the last
several days, he's also discovered that his penis can do "tricks." For
example, when he woke up the other morning, he was screaming for me to
come into his room. When I arrived, breathless and thinking something
horrible had happened, I found him still in bed, his pajama pants
casually lying on the floor. "Look mama!" He shouted, pointing at his
morning erection, which, apparently, he'd never noticed before. "My
penis got big;it can do magic tricks!" Or, like the other night, when
I was getting him ready for bed, he discovered that he could make it
look like "a hot dog" if he pushed it back so that it retracted into
the skin, which he found to be enormously hilarious."
LOL
HMS Victor Victorian NP-g18
God Save the Queen!
God Preserve the Prince of Wales!
Rule Britannia!
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