Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote in
news:Xns97CC598B117C51op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130:
> WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high> wrote in
> news:Xns97CC82A0CDBFEOlympusorg@140.99.99.130:
>
>> Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>> news:39q572pj2ofej762g8c41h4v2itif70unf@4ax.com:
>>
>>> On Tue, 23 May 2006 05:15:19 GMT, WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>>Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>>>>news:cji472plcni64ptk7kfi4ukh15k2h3lk6f@4ax.com:
>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, 22 May 2006 15:41:56 GMT, "go||um " <easy@s.123> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>On Mon, 22 May 2006 15:08:37 GMT, Mephistopheles
>>>>>><no-fixed@address.net> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>On Mon, 22 May 2006 13:11:22 GMT, WingedMessenger
>>>>>>><Boy@Flying.high> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>>>>>>>>news:fq8372t129ocd5jfc5jkokaap3grj4p590@4ax.com:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Shan't be staying long. Just come for a quick kip. Over there
>>>>>>>>> in the corner....always was my favourite place.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>> Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> M
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>So it's you hidden away in that grotty cardboard box labelled
>>>>>>>>"Fragile, Handle with Care" with the odour of unwashed feet and
>>>>>>>>unmentionables pervading the once clean atmosphere. How the
>>>>>>>>mighty are fallen LOL.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Mercury.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Hark! I hear a knocking at the gate!
>>>>>>>Who is it that does roughly me awake?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Why, 'tis my dear gossip friend of yore
>>>>>>>That brings me toasted tea-cakes as before.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>How the mighty are fallen, you well may ask,
>>>>>>>I, that in loving friendships once did bask.
>>>>>>>I have heard the mermaids singing each to each....
>>>>>>>I no longer think that they will sing to me.
>>>>>>>I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
>>>>>>>Have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
>>>>>>>.
>>>>>>>'Tis one thing to be tempted, Winged Rider,
>>>>>>>Another thing to fall!
>>>>>>>Oh, shut up, Mephi!
>>>>>>>This makes no sense at all
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>May Angels guide your path where'er you fly,
>>>>>>>Where'er you post your several lyric tunes,.
>>>>>>>Tis enough that I should spot you passing by,
>>>>>>>As I measure out my life in coffee spoons.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Mephi
>>>>>>
>>>>>>It's hard to nap with my snoring, but if you can then more power to
>>>>>>you.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>-g
>>>>>
>>>>> O Lordy, Lord!
>>>>>
>>>>> This must surely be the biggest & heaviest single file that's ever
>>>>> been posted in Smeagol since the place was built. I do hope the
>>>>> floor holds up under its weight, for I would be loath to end up
>>>>> arse over apex down in some subterranean vault among the plumbing.
>>>>>
>>>>> And I never knew there was a song about coffee spoons. Well, I best
>>>>> gird my loins & push off, & thanks to the poster. The name strikes
>>>>> a bell.
>>>>>
>>>>> Mephi
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Talking about plumbing. On awakening from my oft disturbed slumber,
>>>>and requiring a visit to the room often named the small room, imagine
>>>>my dismay when I found a copious trail of blue loo from the cistern,
>>>>down the pipe and onto my floor. There, lying in all its odd glory, I
>>>>saw "a thing". OH, I said to myself, I wonder if that is Mephi,
>>>>having fallen amongst my plumbing. However, after struggling onto my
>>>>knees it was discovered to be a small piece of a washer from the
>>>>aforesaid cistern. Steeling myself to raising my ageing self again to
>>>>the upright
>> position,
>>>>I stood, with head bowed in shame, and asked myself, how could I
>> imagine
>>>>a broken piece of washer to be the renowned Mephi?.
>>>>Shame on me, I thought, went to the kitchen, brewed, and imbibed that
>>>>most luxurious of human traditions, a cuppa.
>>>>
>>>>Mercury,
>>>
>>> Why did you so inconsiderately mention a cuppa. For I had to break
>>> off incontinently on reading it, repair to the kitchen, switch on
>>> kettle & make some toast thickly layered with Robertson's Silver
>>> Shred. ( Can't stand marmalade).
>>>
>>> As to nightly disturbances, they no longer affect me, even after a
>>> night on the tiles, for I had the "op" years back, & as the
>>> consultant then promised, I have since been pee-ing like a 12 year
>>> old. So much so, that when I hap to lay on a display in the Public
>>> Urinals any users 6 feet either side of me step back from the wall in
>>> panic for fear of being soaked by the splash-back from my power-hose.
>>>
>>> Stop it, Mephi, you are now regressing to the deplorable vulgarites
>>> of said 12 year olds, which was not part of the package! Stop it at
>>> once!
>>>
>>> Yes, I am at last beginning to get my money's worth back from the
>>> NHS. In fact, their cash-strapped administration has asked me if I'd
>>> ever thought of moving abroad. The audacity of the fellow, when as a
>>> heavily-taxed smoker I am one of the depleted band who finance the
>>> whole bloody set-up.
>>>
>>> Mephi
>>>
>>
>> Woe is me! The very thought of a marmalade butty sends shivers of
>> uncontrolable delight down my spine, knowing that I may not consider
>> the merest morsel. To Pee or not to Pee, that is the question, whether
>> tis nobler in kidneys to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
>> urination,or having a surfeit, to tie a bowline in the end.!!
>> OH ye of tarred lungs, learneth thou not in thine dotage?. A move to
>> far off lands would be a move of great value. For there may you be
>> subject to the spells and magical potions of those of great voodoo
>> knowledge. To be offerred herbs of great medicinal value, so that thy
>> lungs may one again move up and down as do the bellows on the now
>> extinct heated possession of the blacksmith.
>>
>> Mercury.
>>
>
> But what of the poor broken washer? Is he to be left wallowing in a
pool
> of blue? Surely he deserves better.
>
> LS
>
The washer was duly picked up with great anger because it broke at an
inopportune time and was verily plunged into the toilet bowl, and flushed
into eternity by the rapid downwards pull of the silver handle. Abandon
hope, all ye who enter my toilet bowl.
Mercury.
|
| Follow-ups: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
|