Solomon's Private File #105
These stories about Stephen and Solomon take place starting in
1950's. Stephen wrote about his life in letters to a penpal, and then
in a secure blog, in case he lost his memory again, in the master
computer in his school for gifted students, which he started attending
in 2016 in a new incarnation, until his death. Now his son Solomon is
attending the same school, and is writing in his own secure blog for
his future incarnations.
All characters are fictitious, even if some of them might have names
that belong to some actual people, or act like people we know.
Solomon is 18 in this story, in the Spring of 2044.
Solomon's Private File #105 "Change in the Office"
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There was a room in Chicago. A man was in it, waiting. A woman
entered and sat in front of him. She said, "You did a bad thing. Part
of me wants to make you feel what you caused the greatest of us to
feel, and know how bad it was. I'm the assignment supervisor for the
Psychological Assessment Department at the Bureau." He was looking a
little wary. Ivanna said, "Do you know why we are a separate Department
from the actual Psychology Department? Guess." He thought for a little,
and said, "Because you don't want to get involved with cases?" She
said, "Yes. We feel the emotions of others. It is very painful to be in
the presence of a criminal, and a victim, too. But when we are, we have
to help, and that makes it worse, and it's bad in other ways. What we
do isn't compatible with the legal system, and it could expose too much
of what we do for the world which would make us have to stop. In our
group, we have people of different levels of sensitivity and ability.
Unfortunately, they go together. Sol is the best. Even more advanced
than his father, who had to leave this life because there was no place
for him in it anymore, because it hurt so much. What you got Sol
involved in was so bad, you almost made him leave us. DO YOU UNDERSTAND
ME?"
He was in shock. Real and deep shock. She said, "It was bad enough
that you violated procedure to get his help, but you also did it for a
petty reason. To expose him. I'm not sure I can forgive you for that. I
can get you fired and blacklisted. I have the support of the Director
in this. HE doesn't want to lose us. Do you?" He couldn't say anything.
She said, "ANSWER ME!" He said, "No! Oh God, no!" She said, "What made
it worse was you called just after he had a wife beater applicant
arrested in his office. I don't know if Sol will go back to work in the
Bureau. And what will happen to the Bureau then, because they really
She waited for him to stop. He said, "I have to apologize to him!" She
said, "ABSOLUTELY NOT! You still don't get it. Do you want to torture
him with the emotions you're feeling? And another thing. He has total
recall. He can't forget anything. You don't know what that's like, but
he has to live with every memory he's ever had, like it was fresh and
raw. Do NOT see him. Do NOT even call him or write to him. NO contact
to remind him of what happened. Do you understand?" He nodded. She
said, "We were impressed, and had such high hopes for you. We actually
liked you. Maybe that helped cause what happened. Made you felt too
empowered. I don't know, but that stops here."
He said, "I should resign." She said, "That won't help anything.
Except for this, you do good work. You could become a good asset for
the Bureau. Why waste that?" He said, "You'll let me stay?" She said,
"It's not my decision. What I really want is to roast you over a slow
fire. After impalement. But we don't do things like that. This isn't
going in your file. Only my group and the Director knows about it. Your
career probably won't be affected by this. But I think this will change
you in some way. I hope it's for the good. Maybe you'll develop some
actual empathy now. Other people DO have feelings. One more thing. We
usually have our children work in the office, for the experience.
They're qualified. But they can't take it long. Only a few years,
before they have to stop. I don't want you to think Sol is a weakling.
He, the most sensitive of us, has been doing it for six years, which is
longer than any of us ever have, and he's been spending twice as many
hours at it per week, too. He's the most sensitive, but he's also the
strongest of us. I'm finished here now. I don't want to see you ever
again. None of us do. That might change. It depends on how you change.
In time." She stood and bowed, and ported away. He sat there for a
while, thinking. Then he got up and left.
Our office closed the next day. Our people just couldn't do it. They
tried the day after, but had to close early. The fast track man found
out about that, and put his fist through a wall. Seth ported to him and
said, "Don't do that. Here, let me heal if for you. Oh, I'm Seth, a
kind of brother to Sol. Yes, he would want me to do this. I think you
know that. No, I'm not reading your mind. We feel the feelings of
others, and are super geniuses. Doesn't take much to guess what people
are thinking in things we're involved in. After the usual 'I want to
screw you to bits' feelings." He had to laugh. Seth said, "There. All
done. Please don't do it again. I mean, do walls really deserve that?"
He offered to hug, and they did with love. The man said, "You weren't
joking! I feel the sexual attraction, and I'm not in the least gay." He
said, "We hear that a lot, in frequency after 'wow', and 'now that I
think if it'. Our love is so strong, it goes beyond sexual orientation.
Yes, we get poked a lot, too. Enough of that, or we'll have a mess
here. Please be at peace. You are forgiven. You are a good man. Never
forget we love you." They hugged again, and he had to be helped onto
his chair. He was crying when Seth ported away. After the weekend, our
office was back to normal. I was there, too.
At the end of the day, Galya came into my office. She said, "You've
changed. It's noticed by practically everybody." I knew she wanted me
to ask, so I did, "In what way?" She said, "You've been resisting it
ever since summer camp. You're enlightened." I said, "Yes. I can't
escape that. Puts restrictions on what I can do, more than before. My
aura becoming visible was a sign. I knew I would have to accept it
soon. Now I have to. Life progresses." We hugged with love.
A man walked into my office. I said, "Please turn off your voice
recorder." He was about to say he didn't have one, when I shook my
finger at him. He gave an embarrassed grin, and did that. I turned
around my computer monitor and showed him the the specific warning on
the screen. I said, "So, why record this?" He said, "Notes for a blog."
I said, "Ever heard of security?" He said, "Yes. I see." I said, "If
you get caught doing that here, unauthorized, even if you work here,
you go to prison. This is a Federal Security Zone. You put any of what
happens here in a blog, or anything else the public has access to, and,
well, you'd better look nice for your cellmate." He gulped. I said,
"Think you can go with the rules?" He said, "Yes sir!" We went through
the tests. I said, "I don't know how long the list is, but it's long. I
hope this job isn't your only prospect for the next few months to a
year." He said, "I understand. Thank you." I gave him a marginal
approval. Too addicted to blogging and social media.
A woman came in. After she sat and gave me the file, I said, "A legal
eagle. Hmm, no feathers." She looked at me stoney faced. We went
through the tests. Then I said, "Why do you want to work here?" She
said, "I just do." I said, "These tests don't show us that, but we need
to know." She said, "I'm good at my work. I think I can do well here."
I said, "A lot of the work here is done by teams of assorted experts.
You would have to get along with other people, and work well with them
as an equal." She said, "I'm not approved, am I." I said, "Why do you
think that?" She said, "The tests show you I'm not a good team player.
I've been through this before." I said, "Have you considered correcting
that?" She was confused. I said, "Who we are, is a continuous work in
progress. With a will, we can direct that progress. Those in my
profession can help with that, if there is need." She thought that over
a little, and then with a slight smile, she said, "I've never been so
politely advised to seek counseling. With the way you put it, I might
actually do that." I nodded. I wrote in her file. I sealed it and gave
it to her. I said, "Please take this back with you to Personnel. I'm
not approving you now, but instead ask that they hold your application
for possible future developments." She said, "Thank you. For all of
this. Strange, but I never expected to say that here, of all places,
looked in a little awe, and nodded to me, before she walked out. Galya
came in. I said, "I know. This proves your diagnosis. I even felt it."
She said, "How do we explain a Jewish Buddha?" I said, "Simple. We just
don't." I kissed her grin.
A man walked in. I said, "Please go back and ask the secretary to
send you to another evaluator here." He exuded belligerence, and said,
"What's the matter? There's something wrong with me?" I said, "Why do
you assume that?" He said, "You think there is! I can see that." I
said, "What do you think I think is wrong with you?" He said, "I don't
know, but I can tell. I can always tell." I said, "Have you ever
thought it could be that very thing? That you think people think there
is something wrong with you, is actually what they think is wrong with
you?" He said, "I don't understand. Are you trying to confuse me?" I
said, "You're not stupid. Think it through." He stood there in surprise
and then did think. Then he said, "I'm actually making it happen
myself! May I come in?" I said, "Now, yes." He sat, and handed me his
file. I looked at it. I said, "They do this to me a lot." He laughed,
and said, "I get it. They give you the tough cases. People they
wouldn't approve, so you can fix them." I said, "Perceptive of you. Do
this often?" He said in surprise, "No, actually. I don't understand
this." I said, "I do. What they wanted, happened." He said, "Wow!" I
said, "I have to agree." We grinned at each other. We went through the
tests. I said, "I can't explain this, but the tests don't match your
record. You're a different person." He said, "I feel the same, but
better." I said, "I should tell this to spare you the shock, but you
look different, too. When you first came in, your face was so
unpleasant looking, I didn't want to deal with you at all. Now, you
could charm the scales off a snake." He laughed. He said, "I even laugh
more easily. I think it's a miracle! I'm not complaining, believe me."
I said, "Got a girlfriend?" He said, "No, I'm gay. Between boyfriends."
I said, "Couldn't keep them long? I expect that will change." He said,
"Wow!" I said, "They might say that in the morning." He laughed.
I said, "Got a religion?" He said, "No, not really." I said, "You
might want to explore in that direction someday. I think what happened
here today might not be all my doing." He said, "I might. Got a
recommendation?" I said, "I really do, and that's why I'm not giving
it, except to say, you might not like one that's too restrictive, or
doesn't like gays." He said, "Right. Thanks." I said, "Now to work. I'm
going to hold your file for a week. Even if I want to, I can't approve
you on a sudden change. We need to see if it sticks. Er, not who you
stick." He looked at me strangely, and said, "That's different. I see
it from you're perspective. I have to agree. In fact, I would think
less of the FBI if you didn't do this, and I can't believe I'm saying
this." I said, "I know how you feel. Same here. I don't know if I
should celebrate, or go around asking everybody why." He grinned and
said, "You DO know how I feel." I said, "One thing. Don't use drugs or
alcohol in your celebration. Could ruin everything." I said, "Got you.
I have to agree." I went around my desk and shook his hand. I said,
"Come back in a week." He nodded, and paused in the door, and said,
"Thank you. I really mean it." I said, "Really my pleasure."
Ivanna ported to my office. We hugged and kissed with love. She said,
"Galya was right. Fully enlightened. You practically live in the
no-mind state now." I said, "But I still have a real mind." Galya
walked in and said, "Yes, and a very nice one it is." We smiled and
hugged and kissed. We went to Personnel, and saw the supervisor. I
said, "That man with the ugly expression, an applicant. You know of
him? She said, "Yes." I said, plaintively, "Why?" She tried not to
laugh. She said, "Intelligent and well qualified, but with a chip on
his shoulder the size of an old redwood. Worth saving, so I sent him
over, and over the objections of my staff." I said, "You aren't related
to Torquemada, are you?" She laughed so loud, the whole department
heard it. When she could listen, I said, "I didn't approve him." She
said, "But he didn't return." I said, "I'm holding his file for a week,
so we can be sure the change is stable. Yes, he's er, fixed." Ivanna
said, "And so well and completely, we are, well, dumbfounded." Galya
said, "It happened in less than a minute. Amazing! A completely
different man now. Even looks different." I said, "True, but I'm not
sure how. Just don't expect that to happen every time, and when it
doesn't, there could be real problems for all of us. You took a big
risk, letting him in." She said, "I understand. But for really good
prospects?" I said, "A bit of warning could help." She said, "But then
you would send them to somebody else." I said, "Spread the agony. Sure.
And the opportunity to improve. We aren't here just for you, you know.
You put it all on me, I'll have to leave." She said, "Oh. I should have
thought of that. But you watch, don't you?" I said, "We all watch each
other. We're a team."" She said, "I see that. I'll keep this in mind.
Not going upstairs with it?" I said, "Not yet." She said, "Thanks." We
hugged.
He did come back in a week, and he was still the new improved model.
I gave him a highly recommended approval. I think he knew that. He was
really surprised by the hug, and did poke me without embarrassment. He
left feeling a little dazed, but not at all unhappy.
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Grant
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