SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT CYCLE
by
David Lubar
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
twelve-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path through the most rigid quality control methods on the
planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the
inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. Twenty bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes ten of the bugs and explains to the testing.
department that the other ten aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers fifteen new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and extremely pre-mature product
announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product
is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduces 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
19. See 2.
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