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The Nurses (1971)
User Review
Early XXX comedy underachieves
8 November 2010 | by lor_
Before DEEP THROAT took the world by storm there were oodles of hardcore
porn films, including comedies, being cranked out which did not gain the
public's attention. This is one of them, from the same distrib Sherpix
that scored with the softcore 3-D film THE STEWARDESSES (probably the
most successful 3-D movie during its time frame before the COMIN' AT YA
spurred '80s revival).
What went wrong? Nothing really, as the hit MONA a year earlier had
established a strong niche audience for hardcore porn, but no evidence
that it would expand beyond the obvious limits. Foreign sales were not
yet a serious reality (it took about five years before even France would
permit hardcore exhibition), and the art house & grind house venues for
theatrical exposure were severely limited.
So THE NURSES was made for a tiny audience, hence on a low-budget. What
is striking, however, is that it plays like a real film, albeit a very
poor one. It does not resemble the hundreds of "1-day wonders" one sees
in video reissues stemming from the 1970-71 early days of porn. Same team
made a followup for Sherpix called YOUNG STARLETS, which I'm anxious to
see, expecting pretty much more of the same.
I'm reviewing the DVD-R issue from Something Weird; more recently it has
been revived on DVD in a "Naughty Nurses" double feature from After Hours
Cinema.
Set in a hospital, film is a series of vignettes with very little carry-
through storyline. While played straight (most of the cast can't act
worth a lick, hired for other reasons), many scenes are conceived on the
level of a burlesque sketch, as in the opener of a poor schmo ordered to
deliver a semen specimen, and getting the pretty femme lab assistant in
the next room to "help out".
Problem of course is that lack of talent, both behind and in front of the
camera, results in unfunny episodes. Sure, you can see where the joke is
intended, but only groans are possible. Some of the women are marginally
good-looking, but none of the stunning beauties from the softcore era nor
the striking good-lookers like Suzanne Fields and Rene Bond from the XXX
days are present. The guys are strictly no-namers too, and unusually
hairy (all-over), perhaps a turn-on for some fetishist but hardly what
proved to be successful in porn.
Though made for slightly wider release than a storefront movie, THE
NURSES is still technically crude, with the loud sound of the camera
motor evident in many scenes. It is not very arousing either, as in one
slo-mo ejaculation closeup that comes off as comical. Even the lesbian
scene by one aggressive Head Nurse Flanders lacks the usually sensual
overtones that were standard in such scenes during the softcore heyday.
A couple of kinky scenes left me cold. In one, a young nurse applies an
enema to her patient, while simultaneously having intercourse with him.
Another extended gynecological exam has all the demerits of the soon-to-
be overdone "gynecological closeups" approach to porn, without any of the
pluses. Both scenes come off as literally clinical.
Overall THE NURSES shows filmmakers fumbling around seeking a new art
form, awaiting the arrival of auteurs like Gerard Damiano with his great
cameraman Joao Fernandes to show them how it's done.
*
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