http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079018/
Always a good sign when the three main protagonists enter into the
film world with a vehicle and then NEVER WORK AGAIN.
The story of three girls who undertake a girl biker road trip to
California is probably best defined by the fact that they must have
stopped by the Redwood Coast area and taken acting lessons from the
local softwoods, (I cannot imagine anything 'hard' ever occurs as a
result of this film), since their acting skills border on sub-wooden.
Mind you one has to wonder how well Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep and
Judi Dench could have managed when confronting a scene where exiting a
gas station bathroom and faced by an obvious baddie are given such
lines as:
Streep: "What do you want?"
Rapist: "I ah.. err... wanted to fuck you."
Dench: "Get away from us you sick bastard."
Streep: "Don't touch me! Quit! You make me sick you dirty pervert!"
Mirren races in and mosquito slaps the potential rapist who stumbles
back to his truck to escape..
Dench: "Leave us alone you filth. GET AWAY GET AWAY! GONE! You
pervert.
The now defeated potential rapist gets into his broken down truck and
drives away.
Fast forward to the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion for the 1978 Oscars.
Host Bob Hope introduces John Huston and Sir Lawrence Oliver who
uncomfortably interact while they consider the events of the night
before when each watched the other masturbate in the hot tub fast in
the knowledge that the technology will never exist where a mere phone
could take a picture of such an act let alone have the image hacked.
Olivier: "In a first for Oscar there are only three performances
considered worthy of Best Actress and beyond that all three
performances were brought to us from the same film."
Huston: (utilizing his hybrid stoic American/British accent)
"obviously none of these actress include my daughter."
(Small forced laughter emits from the audience, only the sound of
Angelica running out of the hall in tears remains).
Olivier: "Meryl Streep for Cycle Vixens."
Huston: "Judi Dench for Cycle Vixens."
Olivier: "Helen Mirren for Cycle Vixens."
Huston: "And the Oscar goes to... The Rapist's Truck."
The truck slowly ambles toward the stage while the announcer provides
a voice over; "this is the second nomination and first win for The
Rapist's Truck who was previously nominated for its role in Wrong
Way."
You've been warned! Watch at your own peril.
T.
|
|