jabonakagifrau blow-by-blow.txt
...the beatings will continue until morale improves...
We begin with Joan Devlon in bed with a bearded dude who has a tattoo reading "The Kid" on his right bicep and another tattoo ("Mom") halfway around his right forearm. He calls Joan "Janie baby". Joan doesn't call him anything because she has his dick in her mouth. The Kid says he has been waiting 30 years for a girl who sucks cock like Jane does. Cue squalling baby. The Kid says, "Oh, Joanie." Devlon tries not to laugh. Cue trombone. This is going to be even more painful than usual.
The Kid's tattoo count increases to three (left bicep). JanieJoanie is skinny and possibly perfect. Her volcano areolas are glorious. Her bush is prehistoric. She's also a terrific cocksucker, enthusiastic cowgirl, etc. The Kid takes 17 cliches off the shelf and murmurs them at JanieJoanie, whose remarkable self-control is such that she has refrained from throttling him for six whole minutes.
A phone booth instructs Joan to fly to Hong Kong and keep America's youth off heroin. She takes a Pan-Am jet across town, from Van Ness Avenue to Chinatown. Cue James Bond theme. Cue badguy. Jane zaps him with a Badguy Zapper Ray and keeps walking until she gets to Madam Lee's curio shop.
Madam Lee turns out to be black starlet Val Anderson. Dialog, of a sort, happens. This is sometimes referred to as "plot". We'll wait it out until the fucking resumes. Waiting. Joan can handle dialog, Val cannot. Madam Lee shows Jane some oriental rituals of relaxation. Switching to C-SPAN.
Six minutes of relaxation later, a guy walks in and sits down. It's Frank. Frank?* His uncle (or U.N.C.L.E.?) sent him. Joan whispers something to Val. The girls invite Frank to relax along with them. Joan still has a great body. So does Val. Frank has a farmer's[?] tan, light brown hair, and no tattoos that I could see. Frank fucks Val. Joan says she's never fucked an agent before. Frank doesn't fuck Joan because he has another appointment. No matter, it's time to go see Sun Yee at the Jade Lantern curio shop. So long, Frank.
Sun Yee turns out to be your basic Asian black dude. His real name, he says, is Sidney Greentree. He suggests they join his friends who are enjoying an oriental holiday, so they do (by walking thru the same doorway that was in Madam Yee's curio shop).
The friends, who are all white, celebrate the oriental holiday in the traditional fashion, by sucking and fucking. They evidently include some of the Vince, Pat, Sammie, Debbie, and Alicia shown in the credits. Daisy-chaining happens. Somebody says, "Happy New Year, everybody." Wood issues.
Joan Devlon really liked to fuck. It's a crying shame that her enthusiasm was wasted by so many talentless directors, hack writers, dud studs, and cheap producers. Starting with "Sweet Agony" _still_ missing after all these years (c1974).
Madam Lee and Sun Yee just keep on keepin' on, but the rest of the gals spend most of their oriental holiday trying to get dicks hard and keep them hard.
At 45:11 all the guys have cum, so the oriental holiday mercifully ends. But we're still no closer to "eliminating this deadly threat to the youth of America, to The American Way, and to Mom's apple pie."
The Kid (remember him?) is naked in bed with naked nonJoan, another Asian black chick. The Kid calls her Annie. He tells her he should be importing that shit to her place instead. Oh-oh. Fuck happens. For about 15 seconds. The Kid cums and says, "One out of 42 ain't bad."
Joan is pissed that The Kid is using her apartment and her reputation to distribute heroin so she zaps him. The end.
The databases claim that The Kid is Bob Kirk. It probably is Kirk. You can see more of him dressed, editing film, and oogling Spring Finley, in "Big Split" c1976.
Plot Keywords: Secret Agent | Heroin Smuggling | Breast Sucking | Cut Off Jeans | Hookah ...and many more
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141420/keywords
*Frank is evidently Frank Ford. His only other credit is "Teen Angel" c1976, opposite one-shot Sharon Demsted and the ill-fated (dead at age 23) Melba Bruce. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196146/combined
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