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From: "Jon Q. Pubic " <jqp@colderthanshit.ru>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.lfix
Subject: IT'S HERE, The PEP (Package Enhancement Pack)
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:21:03 -0800
Organization: Lower Slobovia
Lines: 74
Message-ID: <jqp-01C93F.10210311012010@news.altopia.com>
User-Agent: MT-NewsWatcher/3.5.3b3 (PPC Mac OS X)
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.binaries.pictures.lfix:917
IT'S HERE, The PEP (Package Enhancement Pack)
This has been in development for a week. This is for the one who is
embarrassed by the prospect of passing thru the full body scanner with
only what nature has given him.
This will allow those of us who were cheated by puberty, or troubled by
Senior Shrinkage, to pass through a full body scan without any
embarrassment. Maybe even a date with the person operating the scanner.
This was a joint development project by Fastman (thru divine
intervention), jqp (from the revelation, I ain't got shit). There will
be several models available. Standard, the four inch (10.2mm) sleeve.
A simple slip-on, held in place with actors gum, removed by common
turpentine, not included. This model is available for the standard
US$19.95, plus shipping and handling. The handling fee is very
variable, by a young Miss. US$169.99, an older Ms. US$69.99, Old Bat
US$19.99, Old Codger US$6.99, & Old Codger that swings the other way
less US$.99.
The Custom Standard Model, this is available with both custom length
sleeve and embellishment. Same attachment and removal method. The cost
of this model is US$49.95. Same handling fees apply. Shipping is an
added US$6.99.
The Special Custom Model, this is available with both custom length
sleeve and embellishment. This model comes with vastly increased girth.
As well as a sleeve length from one to eight inches, and embellishment
length of one to fourteen inches. Same attachment and removal method.
The cost of this model is US$49.95, plus US$9.95 per inch over four
inches of embellishment length. Shipping is an added US$16.99. Same
handling fees apply. But for an additional US$19.99 this package may be
sealed with a kiss from the handler.
The Super Custom Model, this is available as an entire package. It
comes with a convent nest for your nature given package, a hollow tube
in the embellishment for in flight relief. And the attachment method is
by careful weaving into your pubic hair. At this time it only come in
the John Holmes size, Ron Jeremy will be available in the late spring.
The cost of this model is US$119.95. Same handling fees apply.
Shipping is an added US$29.95. Also available for an additional
US$19.99 this package may be sealed with a kiss from the handler.
Custom fitting by the handler is available prices quoted on request
Order at the PUb.
PS:
We understand the Muslim brotherhood, as depicted in the now famous
Danish Cartoon, is working on one with a different plastic composition
and has a tampon string dangling from the tip. As this is a competing
product we have little information on it except that the removal method
involves lighting the string.
--
JQP Himself, the wiseass dumbass.
I was here when Tat was a teen!
long live liaka, SWMBA
Lower Slobovian minx wanted! Good Pay?
See You At The PUb, I'll buy the first round.
Or I'll put it on Sir Speedie's Tab.
You Buy the rest, Thanks for all the Totty.
--
JQP Himself, the wiseass dumbass.
I was here when Tat was a teen!
long live liaka, SWMBA
Lower Slobovian minx wanted! Good Pay?
See You At The PUb, I'll buy the first round.
Or I'll put it on Sir Speedie's Tab.
You Buy the rest, Thanks for all the Totty.
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