I hope I didnt imply anywhere in what I wrote that - rape was ever ok
(other than when acted out by consenting parties) whether you are 6 or
66 it is always wrong and just because I have been fortunated enough not
to experience it, does not mean that I cannot empathise with someone who
has, particularly at such a young age.
I do not agree about what the law calls "statutory rape" because this
actually undermines the real meaning of this kind of behaviour.
There is in my mind a big difference between someone forces someone to
do things against their will and someone who allows or helps someone
younger to explore sexual feelings.
I once knew a mother who not only ignored her young childs playing with
his genetalia but when he got upset would often take his shorts down and
suggest he play with his willy - because that calmed him down. I dont
think that was abuse in any sense of the word but todays courts would
see it as such.
From about the age I became sexually (10-11) aware I had developed both
a sense of what was right or wrong, for me. As I said from about 14 I
actively sought out older people - today they would be put in jail for
what I wanted them to do.
I think the point that I am making is (a) if we didnt impose the idea
that sex and nudity are wrong and (b)instead taught children how to
explore this aspect of their life safely (as we do with almost everthing
else such as drinking) - then I think there would be fewer not more
situations when things like this happen against someone's will.
With any sexual/emotional friend, and mine have all been with young
people over the age of consent (16 where I live), I have always
respected who they are, what they feel ready for and what is appropriate
for them. So I dont see why I would have behaved any differently to
someone of say 13 or 14. I once dated a girl of 20 who used to get
naked in bed with me but who did not want to have penetrative sex - that
was her choice. Equally I am sure that there are some girls well under
16 who both want, and maker sure they get, sex in the same way that I did.
Responsible behaviour is the key - but I just dont see how
responsibility can be defined as narrowly as being a criminalised as a
rapist if you masturbate a willing 14 year old girl or boy, but then are
behaving perfectly legally if you have full sex with a 16 year old.
(assuming in all cases it was consensual)
Having been young once myself I resent the idea that from the start of
puberty I was deemed "incapable" of giving my consent to anything.
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