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From: Kingsfan13 <kingsfan1300@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.brady-bunch
Subject: Re: Special Lost Episode of the Brady Bunch Television Show
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2008 12:14:49 -0800 (PST)
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My dear, sweet, tangy, BM (Bowel Movement) Lady! You are so
wonderful. You clearly have much of my beautiful Saggie inside of
you.
I do remember that episode quite well. The scene that they cut out,
however, was the one where that creepy old guy, Mr. Haskel (who owned
the ice cream parlor), came over. He was always hiding in the bushes
around the Brady home trying to spy on the kids whilst they produced
BMs (bowel movements). He enjoyed the sounds of straining, moaning,
and shrieking as the kids tried to expel their bloated BMs (bowel
movements) from their narrow sphincters.
Anyway, when Mr. Haskel saw what Mike was going to do with the deep
fat fryer, he asked Mike to first allow him to bring over the barrel
full of dry ice that he kept in his store and try to freeze off the
Brady hemorrhoids. Mike gave him permission and old Mr. Haskel lugged
over his dry ice barrel. He first sat Jan down in the barrel
(because she was such a good worker in his ice cream parlor and Mr.
Haskel liked her). Unfortunately, when Jan's hemorrhoid froze, Fluffy
(the girls' kitty cat) thought that it was a popsicle and proceeded to
claw and scratch at it and eventually ripped it to shreds. Needless
to say, Jan was yelling her head off because Fluffy's sharp claws were
making a bloody mess of her frozen hemorrhoid. Mike then told Mr.
Haskel that his idea was dumb. Mr. Haskel got so upset that he
stormed off with his barrel of dry ice without even kissing Mike
goodbye. Mike then got very insulted and yelled after Mr. Haskel that
he would no longer come in to Mr. Haskel's ice cream store and help
Mr. Haskel trim his gray pubic hairs.
A wonderful scene.
I love you and Derek (but not in a way that is akin to a colon being
invaded and destroyed by an immense shlong) very much.
Kingsfan.
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