Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
From: "Thomas Keske" <TKeske@Comcast.net>
Newsgroups: alt.surrealism
Subject: Software Shanty
Lines: 218
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Newsreader: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1165
Message-ID: <XW0dc.94152$JO3.47132@attbi_s04>
NNTP-Posting-Host: 24.218.246.72
X-Complaints-To: abuse@comcast.net
X-Trace: attbi_s04 1081383735 24.218.246.72 (Thu, 08 Apr 2004 00:22:15 GMT)
NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2004 00:22:15 GMT
Organization: Comcast Online
Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2004 00:22:15 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.surrealism:1146
SOFTWARE SHANTY
Heave away, bullies, debug away
Way, hey, code an' go!
To the starboard, we are sinking
but don't disturb me, I'm thinking
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Soon we'll be warping her out through the semaphore locks,
Way, 'ay, code and go!
But the software was written by some lunkhead from the docks
And it's rollickin' sailor's software-o
Heave a pawl, oh, heave away,
Way, 'ay, code and go!
'way from port, a thousand miles
but the damned code won't compile
And it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Now we are ready to head for the Horn
Way, hey, code an' go!
But Peg-Leg was bootlegging some porn in JPEG
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Heave away, bullies, debug away
Way, hey, code an' go!
To the starboard, we are listing
but we are reviewing the listings
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Let's get the glad-rags on an' drive 'er to sea!
But which engineer forgot to burn the CD?
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Haul away, bullies, all on board our ship
Way, hey, code an' go!
But I think that one of the boards must have a flakey chip
And it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Now, our sails are starting to droop
Way, hey, code an' go!
It looks like the code's in an infinite loop
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
It's a hell of a way, boys, so drive 'er to sea
Way, hey, code an' go!
But the goddamn software is all written in C
And it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
There's fire down below, and we're starting to burn
Weigh, hey, code an' go!
Damned computer glitches are a cause for concern
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Now we're headin' around, full ship astern
Way, hey, code an' go!
Get yer butt cheeks crackin', boys
Navigation took a wrong turn
Our navigation system shanty-o
Heave away, bullies, debug away
Way, hey, code an' go!
We'll turn the capstan around
But first, we must get our bug count down
And it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Now we have floundered, a total shipwreck
Way, hey, code an' go!
'Cause the goddam code wasn't meeting the spec
And it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Soon we'll hang the engineer, from the nearest yard-arm
Way, hey, code an' go!
But first, check why the LED is indicating an alarm
It's a rollickin' software shanty-o
Heave away bullies, and breathe the salt air
Way, hey, code an' go!
But sailors, beware, there are bugs in the software!
'Cause it's a rollickin' software shanty-o
------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.zathras.de/angelweb/index.php?page=bananasoftware
Anyway, you can probably imagine his shiny eyes when he arrived
at the harbor and opened the first of the crates. Sadly, what
greeted him after taking a piece of software, dumping it in a
box for a couple of weeks and then opening it again, -- no
matter how many shanties you have your sailors sing -- is not a
finished product. He got "banana software".
------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.stormy.ca/inhouse.html
STORMY WEATHER SOFTWARE
"Tides" Our Ocean Tide Software gives daily and monthly tidal
analysis and predictions for more than 800 ports around the
world. Valid forever, it is trilingual in English, French and
Spanish with full on screen Help.
"Morse" Our Morse Code training program is used by dozens of
Amateur Radio Clubs and for the training of Merchant Marine
officers in the USA.
"Astro" a permanent almanac gives full details of the sun, moon
and planets, plus more than 3000 stars for astronomers and
instant Sight Reduction for Marine Navigators.
"RacePro" Our Yacht Regatta results and management software uses
The International Yacht Racing Union appendix B2.2 for entries
and results in any regatta, including multiple dates, classes
and teams. The printout results are customized for each Yacht
Club or Regatta organizer after registration.
VCI Software - Variable Communications Interface software for
Kendecom Mk4 repeaters
HABBAKUK - Biblical prophet who said "Cast your eyes over the
nations and be amazed, astounded. For I am doing something in
your own days that you would not believe if you were told it"
Hab 1:5
L.W. Gold "The Habbakuk Project - Building Ships from Ice",
Proceedings, International Symposium of Ice", POAC,
Lulea, Sweden 1989, pp 1211-1228
David Lampe "The unknown Genius", Evans Brothers, London, 1959
F.J. McEvoy "Professor Pyke's Secret Weapon,"
The Beaver, April/May 1994 p.32-39
William J. Wallace "Habakkuk", Warship, v
olume V, number 18 1981 p.80-85
------------------------------------------------------------------
58. Wired News: US Navy Closes Doors Down Under
... Related Wired Links: Navy Software Dead in the Water ...
http://www.wired.com/news/news/technology/story/19166.html
3. Software glitches leave Navy Smart Ship dead in the water |
GCN ...
GOVERNMENT NEWS. GCN July 13, 1998. Software glitches leave Navy
Smart Ship dead in the water. By Gregory Slabodkin GCN Staff.
The Navy ...
http://www.gcn.com/archives/gcn/1998/july13/cov2.htm
16. CAAB - Navy software could afffect Vieques bombing trials -
25/11 ...
25 November 2002 Navy software could afffect Vieques bombing
trials By Ward Sanderson , Stars and Stripes, European edition.
The ...
http://cndyorks.gn.apc.org/caab/articles/vieques192.htm
56. Managing Risk in Software Maintenance
... The authors describe how they dealt with these differences
in a large US Navy software maintenance organization. ...
http://www.computer.org/software/so1997/s3043abs.htm
17. Scalable Materials Science Software
Scalable Software Projects in Code 6690 ... This page is
maintained by singh@dave.nrl.navy.mil (Privacy Advisory) Last
Modified: June 16, 1997...
http://cst-www.nrl.navy.mil/software/
26. Navy Submarines - Download Shareware software from our Navy
category
Download software from Tucows the largest online software
download site. Tucows has over 45,000 software titles that are
tested, rated, reviewed and ready to download. Tucows is your
download ...
http://themes.tucows.nyi.net/preview/56555.html
------------------------------------------------------------------
37. Lyrics of Little Old Sod Shanty
Little Old Sod Santy On My Claim Click here to hear Papa When I
left my eastern home, a bachelor so gay To try and win my way to
wealth and fame, I little thought that I'd wind-up burning
twisted ...
http://www.sisqtel.net/~nwhipple/folklore/shanty.html
------------------------------------------------------------------
17. Sailors beware: BAH and dependent support fraud is a crime
February 7, 2002. Sailors beware: BAH and dependent support
fraud is a crime ... by Office of the Navy Inspector General
Public Affairs...
http://www.dcmilitary.com/navy/tester/7_05/national_news/139...
------------------------------------------------------------------
46. The Coven Guide to the Moons
(or Four Moons for a Harp Mistress) Cartographer, Harper,
Mistress of Hunts The waxing and waning of the lunar phases have
a strong influence on the lives and powers of the sisterhood. ...
moons, making her very important to water witches (and sailors! ).
Her surface is very bright, when she ... these forces grows
substantially. Beware--for just as quickly as she dances ...
http://www.zone9.com/coven/library/general/Moons.html
47. The Oceana Roll
... Oh, you sailors beware! For Bill will play on 'till you drop. ...
http://www.perfessorbill.com/lyrics/lyoceana.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|