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From: HMS Victor Victorian <VV@19thCent.net>
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Date: Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:08:32 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.utb.naughty-boy:125
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On Sat, 16 Jun 2007 19:11:51 GMT, the non <myaddress@server.co> wrote:
>Chid Development & Intergenerational Relationships
>
> Some people think sex is a straightforward issue, an adult man and an
>happens within an individual is the result of a complex interplay of
>sex, gender and sexuality. For most people, sex and gender are the
>same, i.e. male/masculine, female/feminine. Obviously, for a few people
>this relationship is not just reversed, but tangled. Add to that
>we know all about it, even now?).
> Sex, gender and sexuality of male children and adolescents is even
>more complex, because (as the horniest creatures on the planet,
>exception perhaps mating lions) they also have a highly variable natural
>interest, or drive, pushing their sexuality. Fundamentally, boys are
>explorers, investigating and learning by trying one thing, then another.
>practice. With sex, this is an informal, self guided study in our
>culture. Here are some simple facts and children and sex:
>
> 1. children are sexual creatures from birth
> 2. sexuality of infants (0-3) is reflexive and entirely
>self-centered, masturbation by frottage
> 3. sexuality of pre-school children (4-6) is still self-centered, but
>with curiosity about others, masturbation remains mainly by
>frottage (humping a pillow or blanket)
> 4. sexuality of early primary-age children (6-8) diminishes, but
>curiosity does not: masturbation less frequent
> 5. puberty begins for middle primary-age children (9-12); sexuality
>becomes active in seeking simple experiments with age-mates;
>masturbation actively resumes
> 6. sexuality of early teens (13-15) seeks broader experience, more
>variation and more frequent repetition, experimentation with
>lubricants, condoms, and more partners
> 7. The relationship between a child and his parents changes, in pace
>with the above points,
> from the total dependance of infants to various manifestations of
>independence and separation as the child matures. Those begin to
>interest/receptivity to an external, non-parental relationship. Whether
>a child trusts his parents or not has much to do with his interest in
>forming an independent pseudo-parental alliance.
>
> Having said that, the age brackets are flexible. Some stages are
>skipped, others are extended. Satisfactory sexual experience is
>reinforcing, unsatisfactory experience is not. All sexual experience
>has positive value, even unsatisfactory experience. Individual
>differences show up boldly, with some children far more sexual than
>others. It is not only possible, but common for children by age 12 to
>(child or adult) capability to understand and accept their sexual
>sexuality compared to the average for his age group.
>Parallel, and perhaps related, is the variability in how a child reacts
>to experience. Some individuals affect trauma from the same experience
>others regard as a mere misfortune, or perhaps a learning opportunity.
>In other words, some children have the ability to shrug off an
>internalize that same experience and allow it to haunt or rule them
>permanently.
> It is this SQ that conservatives and religious moralists try
>unsuccessfully to suppress. We are not all the same. It cannot be
>governed by laws. People learn to express their sexual interests in
>private, not in public, valuing consenting relationships. Morality is a
>associate him/herself with; it is based upon tribal belief and
>superstition. Intelligent people, regardless of cultural affiliation,
>guide themselves ethically, as ethics are based upon kindness and fair
>play, not narrow superstitious faiths.
>As for intergenerational sexual liaisons, the above definitions and
>concepts should serve as a guide to any responsible person. The
>pathology of relationships between boys and adults, and girls and
>adults, is different and cannot be directly compared. This discussion
>is about boys.
> It is possible, although rare, for a child as young as seven to form
>an intergenerational sexual interest. It is much more likely from age
>eleven on, when those with high SQ seek a more rewarding, more
>sophisticated encounter than can be provided by an age mate. It is
>common for boys (but rarely girls) to be the aggressor when seeking an
>adult sex companion. Some children that age may be more likely to look
>for a younger friend for a sexual liaison, a different motivation
>children whose sole resource is a trusted friend.
>interest, different from adult love in that it is based upon infinite
>trust. Adults, in contrast, have learned that trust, in love, can be
>which is missing in his life, the trust and companionship he should have
>and comparatively short lived, lasting a few months to a few years,
>compared to an adult mateship, usually changing to a long term
>friendship.
> Most boys who make liaisons with adults have a discordant or
>dysfunctional relationship with the parent (or parents) and seek a
>establishing trust where none previously existed. Boys who are
>susceptible to the care and love of an unrelated adult typically
>distrust or fear their parents, so a caring adult becomes very
>development of trust and friendship, is regarded as a criminal act,
>while a similar process, indoctrination of people too young to make
>rational decisions, is looked upon favorably when religions apply them.
>
> HARM. This is not as simple an issue as it is commonly portrayed.
>Can a boy be harmed by a sexual relationship with an adult? Yes. With
>another boy? Yes. Can some boys be harmed in this manner? Yes. But,
>and this is the most important part, can ANY boy be harmed? No. Can
>EVERY boy be harmed? Definitely not. Harm is simply a factor of the
>If aggravated rape is being discussed, the probability of harm broadens
>considerably. If abuse of authority is the issue (i.e. a Roman Catholic
>priest offering special dispensation in exchange for sexual favors, or a
>teacher offering a better grade, etc.), then again the prospect of harm
>is amplified.
> If the relationship is the outcome of a trusting, mutually gratifying
>friendship, then the possibility of harm diminishes radically. Do some
>boys willingly (enthusiastically) engage in an asymmetrical
>relationship? Yes. Do they ever change their minds about the
>Many young people make choices they later regret and cannot undo, vulgar
>tattoos and body piercing come to mind as an example. Small children go
>through a phase of petty theft, and later feel embarrassed by the
>the temptation that was the cause?
> An aspect of harm to children and adolescents which no one ever
>considers is the harm done by imposing unrealistic values and hollow
>achievements upon young impressionable people, particularly those who
>to sell as many suggestive pictures as possible, posing the kids in
>lordotic postures that look more like a young cat in her first heat.
>and talent, and when the youthful blush goes away and the facial hair
>comes in, what do they have? Generally, nothing. They are lured into
>the studio with the hope, perhaps the expectation, of a highly paid
>career as a professional model, and although they may be registered as
>such, their chances of modelling even ill-fitting badly designed
>clothing for K-Mart is remote.
> In this same category, and for much the same reasons, children and
>adolescents who are employed in film or television production face the
>same problem. Very few make a career transition when they become
>adults, and many go completely off the rails when their phantom
>expectations are not met. In this category, at least, they usually earn
>a substantial salary, but that in itself is a double edged sword; most
>of them can never expect to achieve the same earnings level as adults,
>and the transition can be devastating. Typically studio kids, both in
>the modelling and entertainment industries, are deprived of normal
>adolescent experience and contact, failing to develop many basic
>physical and social skills necessary to interact with others. Drug
> No discussion of Harm is complete without pointing out that
>procedures of police and social workers involving children detected as
>having participated in a sexual relationship with an adult are more
>harmful than the relationship itself, excluding those rare cases of
>aggravated rape. Even then the police are often the source of more
>trauma than the original perpetrator.
> The whole issue is a matter for science, reason and logic, not
Thanks for this comprehensive and rather clinical response to the
question. If our features were proportioned according to the parts of
our anatomy having the greatest sensitivity--which organs have the
most nerve endings per square millimeter--then we'd have penises as
large as barracuda. It is therefore completely expected that a boy
has a fascination with his genitals and that it would continue into
manhood.
From an early age, boys certainly know what hurts and what feels
good. From that point, culture and society step in. From the
earliest age boys are drilled as to what behaviors are supposedly
right and wrong. Boys are also taught guilt, which is intended to
enforce these prohibitions even when the boy is completely alone.
Because the sexual feeling is one of the strongest human imperatives,
the strongest prohibitions are assigned to control sexual behavior. Of
course, the prohibitions themselves vary widely from one society to
another, and an act that might be condemned in one is tolerated in
another.
In Western societies with which I am familiar, it is SAID that a
BoyLover does irreparable harm to a boy if he is sexually intimate
with him, irregardless of the circumstances, that the very act is so
heinous as to demand penalties reserved for those committing the most
heinous, atrocious and cruel murders. But the harm that is done in
most of these sad cases is done to the boy not by his adult friend but
by the society itself. Once the identity of the "victim" is revealed,
the boy is stigmatized. He is scrutinized, interviewed, fussed at and
whispered over as if having contracted some horribly contagious
disease. His friends and acquaintences at school talk and perhaps
laugh at him ... even openly make fun of him, calling him "fag" and
"queer" or "turd burgler." He comes to feel indelibly stained and
soiled. He may begin to think of suicide and guilt has claimed
another victim.
Upon careful reflection, a rational person will see that this is
tragically so.
Other societies, such as in Japan, do not see it that way at all.
However, the United States, for one, is working hard to change that.
Hence, my question remains. Does a BoyLover actually harm a boy by
being intimate with him?
I'm sorry. I hoped to be brief, but I've clearly failed!
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