Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote in
news:Xns97CCDC8C6B6DD1op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130:
> WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high> wrote in
> news:Xns97CCE8A277AD8Olympusorg@140.99.99.130:
>
>> Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote in
>> news:Xns97CCA56DF79631op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130:
>>
>>> WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high> wrote in
>>> news:Xns97CCAC33AE4CCOlympusorg@140.99.99.130:
>>>
>>>> Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote in
>>>> news:Xns97CC598B117C51op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130:
>>>>
>>>>> WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high> wrote in
>>>>> news:Xns97CC82A0CDBFEOlympusorg@140.99.99.130:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>>>>>> news:39q572pj2ofej762g8c41h4v2itif70unf@4ax.com:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Tue, 23 May 2006 05:15:19 GMT, WingedMessenger
>>>>>>> <Boy@Flying.high> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>>>>>>>>news:cji472plcni64ptk7kfi4ukh15k2h3lk6f@4ax.com:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On Mon, 22 May 2006 15:41:56 GMT, "go||um " <easy@s.123> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>On Mon, 22 May 2006 15:08:37 GMT, Mephistopheles
>>>>>>>>>><no-fixed@address.net> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>On Mon, 22 May 2006 13:11:22 GMT, WingedMessenger
>>>>>>>>>>><Boy@Flying.high> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>Mephistopheles <no-fixed@address.net> wrote in
>>>>>>>>>>>>news:fq8372t129ocd5jfc5jkokaap3grj4p590@4ax.com:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Shan't be staying long. Just come for a quick kip. Over
>>>>>>>>>>>>> there in the corner....always was my favourite place.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>> Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> M
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>So it's you hidden away in that grotty cardboard box labelled
>>>>>>>>>>>>"Fragile, Handle with Care" with the odour of unwashed feet
>>>>>>>>>>>>and unmentionables pervading the once clean atmosphere. How
>>>>>>>>>>>>the mighty are fallen LOL.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>Mercury.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>Hark! I hear a knocking at the gate!
>>>>>>>>>>>Who is it that does roughly me awake?
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>Why, 'tis my dear gossip friend of yore
>>>>>>>>>>>That brings me toasted tea-cakes as before.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>How the mighty are fallen, you well may ask,
>>>>>>>>>>>I, that in loving friendships once did bask.
>>>>>>>>>>>I have heard the mermaids singing each to each....
>>>>>>>>>>>I no longer think that they will sing to me.
>>>>>>>>>>>I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
>>>>>>>>>>>Have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
>>>>>>>>>>>.
>>>>>>>>>>>'Tis one thing to be tempted, Winged Rider,
>>>>>>>>>>>Another thing to fall!
>>>>>>>>>>>Oh, shut up, Mephi!
>>>>>>>>>>>This makes no sense at all
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>May Angels guide your path where'er you fly,
>>>>>>>>>>>Where'er you post your several lyric tunes,.
>>>>>>>>>>>Tis enough that I should spot you passing by,
>>>>>>>>>>>As I measure out my life in coffee spoons.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>Mephi
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>It's hard to nap with my snoring, but if you can then more
>>>>>>>>>>power to you.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>-g
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> O Lordy, Lord!
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> This must surely be the biggest & heaviest single file that's
>>>>>>>>> ever been posted in Smeagol since the place was built. I do
>>>>>>>>> hope the floor holds up under its weight, for I would be loath
>>>>>>>>> to end up arse over apex down in some subterranean vault among
>>>>>>>>> the plumbing.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> And I never knew there was a song about coffee spoons. Well, I
>>>>>>>>> best gird my loins & push off, & thanks to the poster. The name
>>>>>>>>> strikes a bell.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Mephi
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Talking about plumbing. On awakening from my oft disturbed
>>>>>>>>slumber, and requiring a visit to the room often named the small
>>>>>>>>room, imagine my dismay when I found a copious trail of blue loo
>>>>>>>>from the cistern, down the pipe and onto my floor. There, lying
>>>>>>>>in all its odd glory, I saw "a thing". OH, I said to myself, I
>>>>>>>>wonder if that is Mephi, having fallen amongst my plumbing.
>>>>>>>>However, after struggling onto my knees it was discovered to be a
>>>>>>>>small piece of a washer from the aforesaid cistern. Steeling
>>>>>>>>myself to raising my ageing self again to the upright
>>>>>> position,
>>>>>>>>I stood, with head bowed in shame, and asked myself, how could I
>>>>>> imagine
>>>>>>>>a broken piece of washer to be the renowned Mephi?.
>>>>>>>>Shame on me, I thought, went to the kitchen, brewed, and imbibed
>>>>>>>>that most luxurious of human traditions, a cuppa.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Mercury,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Why did you so inconsiderately mention a cuppa. For I had to
>>>>>>> break off incontinently on reading it, repair to the kitchen,
>>>>>>> switch on kettle & make some toast thickly layered with
>>>>>>> Robertson's Silver Shred. ( Can't stand marmalade).
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> As to nightly disturbances, they no longer affect me, even after
>>>>>>> a night on the tiles, for I had the "op" years back, & as the
>>>>>>> consultant then promised, I have since been pee-ing like a 12
>>>>>>> year old. So much so, that when I hap to lay on a display in the
>>>>>>> Public Urinals any users 6 feet either side of me step back from
>>>>>>> the wall in panic for fear of being soaked by the splash-back
>>>>>>> from my power-hose.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Stop it, Mephi, you are now regressing to the deplorable
>>>>>>> vulgarites of said 12 year olds, which was not part of the
>>>>>>> package! Stop it at once!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Yes, I am at last beginning to get my money's worth back from the
>>>>>>> NHS. In fact, their cash-strapped administration has asked me if
>>>>>>> I'd ever thought of moving abroad. The audacity of the fellow,
>>>>>>> when as a heavily-taxed smoker I am one of the depleted band who
>>>>>>> finance the whole bloody set-up.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Mephi
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Woe is me! The very thought of a marmalade butty sends shivers of
>>>>>> uncontrolable delight down my spine, knowing that I may not
>>>>>> consider the merest morsel. To Pee or not to Pee, that is the
>>>>>> question, whether tis nobler in kidneys to suffer the slings and
>>>>>> arrows of outrageous urination,or having a surfeit, to tie a
>>>>>> bowline in the end.!! OH ye of tarred lungs, learneth thou not in
>>>>>> thine dotage?. A move to far off lands would be a move of great
>>>>>> value. For there may you be subject to the spells and magical
>>>>>> potions of those of great voodoo knowledge. To be offerred herbs
>>>>>> of great medicinal value, so that thy lungs may one again move up
>>>>>> and down as do the bellows on the now extinct heated possession of
>>>>>> the blacksmith.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Mercury.
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> But what of the poor broken washer? Is he to be left wallowing in a
>>>> pool
>>>>> of blue? Surely he deserves better.
>>>>>
>>>>> LS
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The washer was duly picked up with great anger because it broke at
>>>> an inopportune time and was verily plunged into the toilet bowl, and
>>>> flushed into eternity by the rapid downwards pull of the silver
>>>> handle. Abandon hope, all ye who enter my toilet bowl.
>>>>
>>>> Mercury.
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Dispatched without so much as a simple elogy? Tsk...tsk...
>>>
>>> L.S.
>>>
>>
>> AH worry ye not, for I didst make a speech of great regret as it
>> wound it final way around the bends and into eternity. "Bugger off
>> thou weakened object that didst cause the unwanted technicolour
>> flooring of my spotless bathroom".
>>
>> Mercury.
>>
>
>
> After all, it did give its life in service to you.
>
> LS
>
Such is the way of an aged washer. To depart its mortal coils in a flush
of blue loo, to go to that great big rest home for weary washers in the
sky. May it rest in peace. Or at least the piece that went.
Mercury.
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